Each of us once met a person with whom we would like to be close for a longer time: interesting, radiating powerful positive energy and giving warmth – Be Yourself
One of the secrets of such a person is that he has learned to be himself.
It seems that “being yourself” is a natural state of a person, but many take years to find their “I”. Those who will eventually be able to know themselves and make friends with themselves become truly happy. We will tell you about some attitudes and actions that will help speed up the process of finding yourself in the wilds of social attitudes and role masks.
12 Tips For Learning To Be Yourself
Tip 1. Identify the strengths and weaknesses of the person
To become yourself, you first need to “conduct a revision”, to find out the basic properties of your character: in cold blood, without haste, without hesitation and fear.
The strengths and weaknesses of a person are two sides of the same coin. It does not happen that a person consists of only positive qualities and does not have any “cockroaches”. Advantages are not a reason to turn your nose up, and disadvantages should not be discouraging.
A person who knows his true essence can competently dispose of his own resource and insure himself where there are gaps.
- Yes, I’m not handsome, but I compensate with charisma.
- I am forgetful, so I write everything down and make “reminders” in my smartphone for every little thing.
- I grab everything superficially, without delving into information, but I can quickly assess the situation in an emergency.
- I swing slowly, so I need to start any business in advance.
It happens that a dignity can be something that for others is a property of a dubious character. Someone will twist at the temple and say: “He’s kind of eccentric!” But it is precisely thinking outside the box that helps a person find fresh solutions in work.
In different situations, the same quality can act in different roles. For example, tall girls at school are complex because of their height, stoop and ruin their posture. At the same time, high growth is necessary for models and basketball players.
Therefore, when conducting an audit, be calm about the “shortcomings” – in certain situations, they can play into the hands.
Tip 2. Don’t be afraid and create a positive mood
Fear is one of the most powerful “demons” that devour from within. We are losing so much because fear stops us. We cannot find a good job or start a business, because we are afraid of failure. We will not call an interesting person – what if he will “send”?
If we analyze how much we do or do not do because of our fears, it turns out that they rule our life.
Successful people always took risks. We went to conquer the capital with a one-way ticket, invested money, realizing the possibility of losses, made offers, realizing that they could be refused.
To be yourself, you need to stop being afraid. What will people say? What if I’m too weird for them? What if no one will accept me as real?
In order not to succumb to fears, you need to constantly develop a positive mood in yourself and try to live in a spirit of optimism. There is a good exercise for getting rid of fear. Today you are nervous and afraid for some reason. Consider whether it will matter five years later. If such situations happened, remember how much you were worried, and how well everything turned out as a result.
Everyone has actions or character traits that we are not proud of. Someone blames himself for the misdeeds committed many years ago, constantly replaying past events in their heads. Feelings of guilt are destructive. There is nothing useful in it, it only takes away our mental strength, slows down, makes us stuck in the past and simmer in negative emotions.
If you analyze the reasons for low self-esteem , you can see that many of them are rooted in feelings of guilt brought from childhood. A child who blames himself for the divorce of his parents or other family troubles grows into an adult who considers himself the cause of all the problems around. He tries to be invisible and perform as few actions as possible: what if something happens again because of him? This is not at all the best path to success …
The only correct method: accept your wrongdoings and shortcomings, draw conclusions, try to fix what is possible. Help yourself realize that you are not to blame for all the bad things that have happened. For example, victims of violence almost always look for the cause of what happened in themselves. What can no longer be corrected, you need to let go, forgive yourself and never return to this topic. Feeling guilty is like carrying a boulder on your back. Why do you need it?
Tip 4. Create and look for the meaning of life
We get to know ourselves in creative activity. We can create our intellect, our body, our character; objects of art or technical devices; the fate of people, teaching them what we know ourselves. The good mood of those around you, a flower garden near the entrance, delicious food for home – all this is creation.
We become ourselves, being involved in the process of creation, from which we experience joy. Such a person’s eyes are burning, he is surrounded by a halo of happiness.
We often ask ourselves what is the meaning of life . One of the possible answers is to realize yourself in work. A person is largely determined by the type of his activity. When he loves what he does, it is immediately noticeable. Your work and its results are an integral part of you.
Tip 5. Respect yourself
Self-respect is one of the foundations of personal self-identification. It includes self-acceptance, positive adequate self-esteem, and pride in one’s achievements.
Many of us have come a long way. We have all made mistakes or found ourselves in unpleasant situations. But many of them did everything to correct the consequences of their mistakes, and then they also did many good deeds. They are worthy of respect, because they managed to overcome the path of inertia and defeat themselves.
We are human beings, weak and imperfect. Despite all our failures, we are worthy of respect if we continue to fight and try to become better. Even the fact that we raise children with love and diligently do our job is already worthy of respect, because there are those who spend their days in a drunken stupor under the fence.
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Tip 6. Compare yourself only to yourself
Someone built a three-story house, someone became the mayor of the city. But they have nothing to do with you and me. Of course, positive examples stimulate development, but, probably, the position of mayor is not yours, after all, you are an artist at all?
We often look at movie stars or billionaires with envy, wishing their fate. But we forget that they worked very hard to achieve their position. They may have qualities that we do not have. They may enjoy doing things that we hate. And few people know what they had to sacrifice.
Everyone should be guided only by himself. If a person develops in what he is good at, it means that he is going his own way.
Tip 7. Accept others as they are
Oddly enough, this is also one of the steps of finding and accepting yourself. After all, if you do not allow your friends and acquaintances to be themselves, then how do you allow yourself to do so? Seeing the diversity of human qualities and destinies, we learn to understand others and ourselves become free.
Tip 8. Develop
There is an opinion that a person should be the same throughout his life, and many are even proud of this. As if such stability is really worthy of pride …
But practice shows that if you wish, you can even change your own character. “I am lazy and grumpy, and nothing can be changed” – these are just excuses.
A person must constantly be in motion, constantly strive up and forward. It’s like in water – as soon as you stop making movements, gravity pulls to the bottom. Even in order to stay on the same level, you need to make some effort. And for the development of your personality you need to work tirelessly.
The good news is that development can be made a habit. Having conquered one peak, we think: “Wow, cool! I want more!” If we do not stop, constant efforts to achieve new goals will become necessary for us, we will strive for the emotional reward we receive from victories.
To become yourself, you need to create yourself, fill yourself with knowledge, experience, impressions, skills. A person walking the path of development, with each step, approaches his harmonious “I”.
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Tip 9. Get rid of the negativity
Each of us has a number of qualities that cause inconvenience both to the environment and to ourselves. All of them are based on one thing – uncontrolled immersion in negative emotions. It can be irritability, anger, suspicion, jealousy, greed and other “sins”.
They draw off a huge amount of energy and spoil relationships with loved ones. But the thing is that these qualities are not our basic properties. We catch them somewhere like a cold, and then we cherish and cherish, convincing ourselves that nature gave such a character.
Sometimes it also happens that we do not even realize that we have acquired an unpleasant habit of muttering or discussing acquaintances. Such things need to be found and eliminated. For example, you can take a test for resentment or other character traits that can interfere in life.
Our soul strives for calmness, harmony and good mood at any time of the day. To be yourself is to be a person inside of whom you feel good.
Tip 10. Remember the benefits of self-irony.
In general, people are very imperfect beings. They are characterized by inattention, disorganization, laziness, clumsiness, forgetfulness and other qualities that become the cause of uncomfortable situations. In order not to worry, be afraid, complex, nervous and angry with yourself, you need to include a sense of humor as often as possible.
There is such a technique – in order to stop being afraid of a certain person or event, it is enough to present them in a comic light. For example, going “on the carpet” to the boss, imagine him in a dress with rhinestones and a hat with feathers on his head. Maybe, seeing a smiling face, he will generally forget that he wanted to scold you.
You also need to treat yourself easier. This is the benefit of self – irony – laughing at our shortcomings, we seem to deprive them of power over ourselves. There is such an excellent saying: “A slight sillyness makes a person practically invulnerable.” In a difficult situation, it is best to defuse the atmosphere with a joke or comic trick.
Tip 11. Do not confuse “being yourself” with shocking
To be yourself means to be different from everyone else. Otherwise it will not work, because we are so different. Today it is becoming something of a mainstream: standing out from the crowd is so cool!
There are many characters who shock the audience out of a desire to get more attention. They can behave strangely or dress catchy, arrange outrageous antics. “I am so special and unique, look at me!” – he shouts with all his behavior. In fact, it turns out that behind all this masquerade there is no inner concept, worldview, life path. Just bright clothes, arrogance and a desire to be in sight.
But this is far from being yourself. After all, a real person can not stand out from the crowd, be modest and taciturn, but at the same time write beautiful music.
Tip 12. Communicate with yourself
Sometimes we run so fast through life, trying to achieve other people’s goals and realize not our dreams, that we don’t even know – what are we, the real ones? But it is not difficult at all: to sit under the night sky and feel what is happening in the soul. What do we really want? Is it good in the life situation in which we are? Is it comfortable to be alone with yourself? What gnaws and haunts?
There are so many questions that we must ask ourselves … Check our inner course, our sense of the path. Look for something that makes you comfortable – good friends, interesting work, a loved one nearby.
Tip 13. Take a break and sometimes indulge yourself
To hell with him! After all, each of us is not only a workaholic and a decent family man, but also an adventure lover or a fan of playing badminton. You don’t need to try to be perfect – you need to indulge in little pranks, feed your inner child with ice cream, cartoons and fooling around with a dog.
Nonsense is not alcohol or other destructive practices. But if you want to drop everything for a while and jump through puddles under the rain – why not? This is you too.
Being yourself is a luxury available to few. Most people are bound by their beliefs, fears and conventions. Only by getting rid of this shell, you will become yourself – even if not ideal, but a free and happy person.