Human personality is a fickle quantity. Over the course of life, it undergoes many changes, depending on what tests we endure and what tasks we set ourselves. And even living in the same rhythm and adhering to a stable schedule, we change. Self-Development Often – for the better, since the lack of development almost always leads to degradation.
Many people in their 30s and 35s have a personality crisis. At these moments we understand that just living and working is not enough. That we want from ourselves something deeper and more global, that the minimums do not suit us, and that not everything can be measured with money and other tangible measures.
Someone comes to this earlier, someone later, and someone does not come at all. For some people, the trigger is shock, for others, insight occurs naturally and gradually. As a result, there is a desire to take the path of self-development, stop making demands on the world and start working on oneself, engage in self-development.
What is self-development? This is a constant and complex process of working on oneself, developing one’s positive qualities in different areas – physical, intellectual, creative, emotional, spiritual. Self-development is characterized by voluntarism and self-control, when a person learns new information and applies it in practice without any external coercion.
Why is it important to engage in self-development
Indeed, why all this torment? Learning new information, tiresome sports, constant stress … After all, you can relax on the couch, watch TV series and enjoy “doing nothing”. But idleness is an imaginary happiness, the reverse side of which is fraught with depression and disappointment in life.
Man is made like this: he needs constant growth, the search for something new. Stopping moving (not only in the physical, but also in the mental sense), he begins to degrade. Swimming is an example – in order to stay on the water, we have to make an effort. Having relaxed and lost control, the swimmer immediately goes to the bottom.
Take a look around and compare happy and unhappy acquaintances. What is the difference? Happy people open a new business, study at trainings, go in for sports, travel constantly, learn something new. Unhappy people have been working at the same job for decades, have fun with only beer and are constantly looking for those to blame for their failures.
The answer to our question is simple – it is necessary to engage in self-development in order to become happy. Anyone who has set foot on this path understands that both the process itself and the results bring pleasure. And that this resource is inexhaustible, because the upper level of perfection simply does not exist.
Where to start self-development and self-improvement
The very, very first step that precedes any action is thought. Desire, idea – call it what you want. They are individual and are formulated differently for each. From the vague “I don’t want to live like this anymore” to “I plan to learn five languages and earn at least one hundred thousand a month.”
The first thing to do is want. And you need to want for a long time, persistently and continuously. At first, you will not understand how to get down to business at all, doubt your abilities, wander in the dark due to the lack of guidelines…
Then the answers will start coming. They manifest themselves in a book that someone gave as a gift, in an unusual person, in new opportunities (for example, going on a multi-day hike with tents).
At this moment, you need to accept all constructive proposals and all unexpected challenges. But you yourself must constantly look for these answers, strive for them, and not sit idly by. Read articles on the Internet, watch videos on the topic of self-development, look for books, try some of the recommendations in practice. From all this, a methodology will begin to emerge, the first results will appear, and you will see your path.
This can take a lot of time – it all depends on the person himself and his starting position. A month will be enough for someone, while someone will be in search for a year or two. The main thing is not to give up and remember that the search will definitely be crowned with success.
It would seem that everything is simple – you just take it and develop. I bought a book and read it. Or go to the gym, grab a barbell, and swing whatever you want. But no! If everything were simple, there would be many more people engaged in self-development.
There are many factors, the absence of which prevents us from improving.
Psychologists have long argued about what willpower is, why some have it, while others do not, and what to do about it. We spent a lot of experiments and research and came to the conclusion: willpower is such a personal quality that can be developed like a muscle. And its presence is mainly determined by upbringing and habits inherent in childhood. Lucky for those who had disciplined and strong-willed parents who developed these qualities in their children. If this is not the case in the family – well, the path will be long, but everyone can do it.
In defining willpower as a concept, the important thing is that thanks to this personality trait, we can follow our decisions and do whatever is necessary to achieve our goals without succumbing to laziness, reluctance, or procrastination .
How to develop willpower? There are two main techniques: doing and not doing. Doing – doing unpleasant or boring but useful activities, such as exercising in the morning. Not doing is the conscious refusal of harmful actions. For example, from smoking or overeating.
By the way, church fasting is precisely a practice aimed at training willpower: by refusing to eat certain foods, we learn to control ourselves. If you dig even deeper, it turns out that in all religions there are similar practices of refusal – from food, comfort, property, certain thoughts or actions. This is because the technique of not-doing strengthens willpower much more.
Willpower is a spiritual quality of the highest grade, one of the most important for a person. Having developed it, you can radically change your life. Have you heard the phrase: “I know how to do it right, but for some reason I do the opposite”? This is what people with undeveloped willpower say.
Motivation is a powerful force. When a person really wants something, he is ready to move mountains. Did something go wrong? That means they wanted badly. After all, when you really want a cake, are you ready to go three kilometers to the night supermarket for it?
It turns out that you need to teach yourself to want correctly? Exactly! Our cunning brain is aimed at saving energy, as Mother Evolution ordered. And he will come up with excuses to discourage his master from unnecessary work: “Well, why is this necessary? We already feel good! Oh, look, a new message in the messenger! Look, look, kittens in the picture!”
Therefore, you need to use cunning against the attitudes of your own subconscious, lazy and wanting only to have fun.
How to motivate yourself to work ? First of all, you need to set the right goals, because even the best motivation will not work when you do not understand what you want, or set false goals imposed by society. For example, money or status. Listening to yourself, you may suddenly find that you really want to hitchhike or volunteer in Africa, and not spin like a squirrel in a wheel to satisfy other people’s needs.
So, having set the right goal, we concretize and visualize it. What business? What will you be doing, target audience, idea, team, slogan, thematic colors? What house? How many floors, is there a garage, basement, sauna, how many rooms?
For example, you want to start your own business, but you have never done business. Create conditions in which you can understand how suitable such an activity is for you: for example, register in the free business game “Your Start” . This is a business simulator, where you can start and develop your business in a fun and safe way, having received a lot of useful information about entrepreneurship in the process.
After fleshing out and visualizing, we must remember our goal and its positive emotional components. Constantly imagine yourself doing interesting business projects or choosing curtains for the bedroom in your home. Think good.
Do not doubt your abilities, believe in victory and do not assume other options. People who have achieved high performance in life are often asked: “How did you manage to implement such a complex project?” In response, many of them say: “I made a decision that I must go this way to the end, whatever it may be.”
Memory is very important for a harmonious personality. We need the ability to memorize information and operate with it all the time: in study, work and even entertainment. You can keep up a conversation only when you can tell something interesting. And how to do this if neither the plot of the book you have read, nor the twists and turns of your own journey are kept in your head?
For successful work, memory is one of the main tools. The more a person achieves, the more information flows through him. How to cope with it if the “flash drive” does not hold large volumes? Write everything down? Well, no, this is not an option. Try the Reflashing course in which you will improve your thinking speed, memory and reading speed.
Memory, like all other qualities, can be developed through exercise. For example, read how to get smarter in 15 minutes a day and put this information into practice.
It is impossible to complete complex and multi-stage work without planning all its steps. This also applies to self-development. Anyone who wants to change their life for the better should have a plan for the year, month, week and day.
But you also need to be able to plan. Not everyone succeeds in making realistic and feasible plans the first time. Therefore, we recommend that you study the 25 rules of time planning so that this skill makes the job easier, not complicated.
There are planning secrets that optimize work so much that you wonder – where did I do so much time before? To learn how to use all 24 hours wisely, take a free course to help you increase your productivity .
Discipline is another whale of self-development that you cannot do without. All practices aimed at improvement require constant and routine repetition. Anyone can go for a run once, hold out for a week – every third, and only a few can turn running into an integral part of the schedule.
Discipline is necessary both in order to give up bad habits, and in order to adhere to the daily routine, and for accustoming yourself to proper nutrition.
You also need discipline in order to fight one of the worst enemies of development – laziness. Finding answers to the question of how to overcome laziness , we become closer to our goals.
Our results are highly dependent on thinking and attitudes. If you think “I still won’t succeed,” then it will. If you consider all rich people to be thieves and scoundrels, then you will never become rich – we do not want to be bad. If you are sure that “all men are goats”, then such a companion will be met.
How to think and what to think is up to us. Learn how to think effectively – and you will save a lot of time and effort that was spent on self-delving, worries and destructive emotions.
A person accepts only what he considers himself worthy. Everyone sets the level of income, attention of the opposite sex and other life criteria for himself.
Unrealistic self-esteem (overestimated or underestimated) prevents its owner from realizing himself in life. We commit illogical actions and make a choice in favor of failure, subconsciously believing that this should be our fate. Failure, suffering, dealing with toxic people are all the choices of a person with unhealthy self-esteem.
To fix the situation, you need to understand the reasons for low self-esteem and try to eliminate them. Often they are hidden in deep childhood, are associated with the divorce of parents or bullying at school – it is very difficult to let go of such things, but it is necessary.
I will succeed – successful people keep telling themselves. They are confident that they can achieve more, and even if they fail, they continue to believe that they will succeed, but next time.
The most important resource of a person is himself. You need to trust yourself, believe in yourself, respect yourself and love.
But how many people hate themselves … They don’t even want to buy beautiful clothes for themselves, because they “did not deserve it.” Before you start developing, you need to find the answer to the question: how to love yourself ? Self-improvement is impossible without self-love …
self-confidence A step-by-step plan for personal self-development
A harmonious personality is strong simultaneously in all life planes. To develop yourself evenly, you need to draw up a step-by-step plan, which will include all the main vectors of growth.
This plan is different for everyone. One man solves integrals in his head, but has not yet learned to build relationships with the opposite sex, the second throws a two-pound weight with one left, but at the same time has read only one book in his entire life. And the third one may come to the understanding that he really does not know how to do anything and has not developed any of the vectors.
When building a plan, you need to take into account all areas, but at the same time perform supportive work where you have already achieved success (so that the bias does not go in the opposite direction) and devote more time to those parties that are not yet developed.
Spiritual growth: self-development
Spirituality is a complex and multifaceted issue. We are not going to talk about religion and philosophy now, these are too complex topics to discuss now. Let’s talk about those aspects of spirituality that make the person himself happy.
Thanks. Having learned to be grateful for every little thing, we always feel joy, even in difficult times. A grateful person will be able to find a ray of hope in the fluttering of spring leaves and the kitten’s games. He easily forgives the shortcomings of loved ones, remembering that they were there when help was needed. Gratitude is wealth.
Love.To love unselfishly, without possessive habits, of course, without demands, is a high art. It gives joy, just like playing your favorite instrument or contemplating the ocean. True love knows neither fear nor pain.
A spiritual person always feels responsible for his actions, lives consciously, strives to be better. He does not lose faith and does not allow himself to fall into despair, strives to learn about the world and be free from passions, addictions and negative thoughts.
Personal Growth: self-development
What is meant by the words “personal growth”? This is the improvement of indicators responsible for intellectual activity and the wealth of the inner world, an improvement in the quality of life at the mental level. Achieving goals, positive thinking, developing memory and intelligence – all this is included in the concept of personal growth.
To make it completely clear, I will say that the results of personal growth will forever remain with us, even if we turn out to be a complete bankrupt without a roof over our heads. A mature person will have enough knowledge and skills, strength of mind and motivation, determination and self-confidence to withstand the most difficult situation. A person with low personal indicators is dependent on material property, therefore, he lives in fear of losing what he has.
People who have gone through illness or have lost the ability to work, as no one else acutely understand the importance of health. You can work, study, develop, love and learn about the world only if you have the strength to do so.
Young people often neglect their health. It seems to them that they will always be strong, no matter how they eat, drink alcohol or smoke. In adulthood, feeling the consequences of their frivolity, they grab their heads and bite their elbows. Someone thinks about it in time, and he succeeds in restoring health, but it is often too late.
We have enough information and understand well how to be healthy . We know perfectly well that you cannot indulge bad habits, overeat, work until exhaustion, and be nervous a lot. But do we use this knowledge so often in practice?
The problem of modern busy people is especially common – they do not know how to rest properly. But rest is the key to productive work. Breathing exercises, meditations, relaxation in nature, voluntary loneliness, quality sleep are moments that need to be given enough attention.
It is imperative to introduce physical activity into your life, at least walking in the park. We are not talking about professional sports – it is more a traumatic activity than a useful one. But light physical activity brings the body into a state of vigor and gives energy. Let it be dancing, badminton, cycling – whatever is fun. The main thing is that they must be regular.
No person can consider his life to be happy and harmonious if he does not have warm relationships with the people around him. We have parents, brothers and sisters, a soul mate, friends, colleagues, just pals.
Each has its own type of relationship. They are different, but equally require constant work: this is building a framework, expressing love, caring, spending time together. Unhappy is the one who makes a lot of money, but does not see how his children grow up.
Relationship with another person is very important – yourself. Actually, it is with them that the building of all other connections begins. Anyone who respects and loves himself knows how to respect and love others. Anyone who cannot find a common language with himself will never make friends with others.
All people need to fulfill their potential at work, to benefit others, and to do something that they are proud of. This is such a deep need that ignoring it makes a person unhappy, even if outwardly everything is going well for him.
Therefore, it is important to choose a business for career development that is fun and enjoyable to do. When you wake up with the thought: “Hurray, today there is so much interesting work!”, The issue of money and promotion will be solved by itself. Or take a free marathon “Wake up your Reactive Brain”
Of course, not everything in this world can be bought for money, and indeed, their role is too exaggerated. But without them in any way. Having financial freedom, we feel calm and confident, we can afford to travel, spend money on cultural and mental development, eat right, provide for our family, and help our parents.
It will take you only 7 days to get your financial situation out of stagnation by reading the book “Trajectory to Financial Freedom”.
Most of us are self-employed. In such a job, you can get a good income, and especially if you are a good employee and constantly move up the career ladder. But this is not always the case, and many specialists, having reached the career ceiling in any organization, come to the conclusion that it is time to go free floating. You just need to understand how to start correctly.
To do this, you can take a free training that will help you start your business . By working for ourselves, we can achieve much more in the financial sector.
Brightness of life: self-development
How do you spend the New Year? I’ll try to guess: put the tree down, set the table, buy champagne and, to the chimes, clink your glasses, making wishes. There are daredevils who break the system to smithereens – they do not cook Olivier and herring under a fur coat.
Why not order an escape room for the whole family? Or go to the forest, light a fire and decorate a real Christmas tree? Or create some more madness?
And I would like to, but we don’t know how, right? So it turns out that our imagination is enough to give up on Olivier at the New Year’s table.
Many interesting adventures and unprecedented undertakings do not require serious expenses, physical preparation and a lot of time. We just don’t have enough ideas. In order to turn into a person rich in inventions, you need to know how to develop creative thinking .
Making your life colorful is not as difficult as it seems. This is not a whim and not a luxury – our soul and brain need emotions, impressions, joy, delight. All this makes our personality richer, nourishes like a sweet elixir.
In the process of self-development, not only attitude is important, but also the quality of information. We mainly draw it from books and films, which we will talk about below.
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10 best films for self-development
Films useful for development can be conditionally divided into three categories: fiction films, where deep philosophy and motivation are hidden, documentaries, where you can learn more about the world around us, human psychology and the path of civilization; and biographical – about people with whom you can take an example.
Isaac Newton: The Last of the Magicians
There is a whole list of biographical films about outstanding people, but I will remember only one thing: this is an Air Force documentary about the greatest scientist who discovered many laws of physics. He figured out the nature of light and gave us the law of gravity. But what kind of person was Newton that allowed him to become the most enlightened mind of the era, and what secrets did he hide?
“Always say yes”
A film starring the consummate Jim Carrey. This story is about a loser named Karl Allen, who passes by life. Karl always answers “no” to all proposals and is content with the existence of a hermit, because he is afraid even to leave the apartment. But an event happens that forces Karl to say “yes” to any, even the most insane proposal. And with this his new life begins.
A comedy tape about life priorities and how important it is to be attentive to your words. A special charm is brought by the main character in the role of Eddie Murphy – that’s really who can chat endlessly and at great speed. The successful literary agent Jack McCall, who knows how to persuade even the dead, overshadows family and love, gives all the time to his career and money. But after learning that there are only a thousand words left in his life, and having said the last, he will die, Jack begins to think about what is more important to him.
“1 + 1”
“1 + 1” is a French comedy about two completely different people who meet each other at the most difficult moment in their lives. He tells the audience that on dark days we can be helped by those from whom we did not expect this, and that there are no chance encounters.
“House” is both a feature and a documentary film about the planet Earth, our Home. Its author is photographer Jan Arthus-Bertrand, who once became interested in video shooting from a hot air balloon and was able to capture many beautiful and unexpected views. Directed by Luc Besson.
We can see the beauty of wild nature in all its scale, and the traces of the development of the planet by man – so small from a bird’s eye view, but so globally changed the appearance of our House forever. Who are we, and what is the role of each of us in the destruction or creation of the Earth? Are we ready to take responsibility for preserving our monastery?
The Secret is a documentary interview about how a person attracts events with the help of thought, about the power of desire and the materiality of information. The film consists of a series of interviews with different people, setting out the philosophical basis of the “law of attraction” with examples from their own lives.
Highway 60 is a fictional parable starring handsome James Marsden. On his birthday, the hero of the tape, Neil Oliver, makes a wish “to receive an answer to his life”, and miraculously it is fulfilled by a magician who happened to be nearby. From that moment on, a series of amazing events unfolds that go beyond the usual understanding and perception. Everything the hero goes through makes him rethink his attitudes, learn to trust himself and make the main decision: who he should be.
“Knockin ‘on Heaven”
Knockin ‘on Heaven is a film about goals. In the face of death, when there is nothing to be afraid of, when all conventions and attitudes turn out to be only dust, a person can achieve any set goal. We live as if we are immortal, constantly putting off life for later. But in reality, we have very little time, and dreams need to be realized right now.
Pay Another is a touching film about the boy Trevor, who came up with an interesting system of mutual assistance. He did good deeds absolutely disinterestedly, but at the same time asked to “pay another,” that is, to do good to a stranger. So the chain of good deeds grew and went not only outside the city, but also outside the state. One child changed the lives of many, and this makes you think: after all, we can also change the world, you just need to want.
The mystical and deeply psychological film is based on the book of the same name by Stephen King. It tells about the last place of the prisoners, where they are prepared for execution. Death is in the air, everyone becomes real in front of her face: someone demonstrates nobility, someone – baseness of spirit. Staying true to yourself and helping even your executioners – only a strong person is capable of this. It is he who changes the worldview of everyone who meets with him.