Free Love: A Psychologist Point of View

  • Devansh 
  • 8 min read
Free Love

Free love is an extramarital intimate interaction, sexual relations in a narrow sense of the concept, or a worldview that was previously popular in some subcultures in a broader sense. Nowadays, this movement, inherent for many in a youthful environment, consists in the views of sexual intimacy as something separate from stable, formalized relationships (marriage or even a long-term acquaintance). This worldview is not limited to sexual intercourse. It assumes that subjects do nothing that may affect the freedom of others and does not tolerate jealousy.

Definition: What is Free Love?

Free love is a kind of worldview that is inherent in maintaining intimacy with different individuals, even when in serious relationships. Partners do not perceive mutual closeness, long-term communication or acquaintance, deep feelings as an obligation or a reason for keeping faithfulness.

Moreover, this concept implies absolute freedom and the ability to give it unconditionally to your couple. Free love is based on the following postulates:

  • lovers should not make claims on each other, arrange surveillance, manipulate others, control;
  • completely deny selfishness , jealousy, a sense of possessiveness;
  • do not violate personal space, respect it, reckoning with it.

Often, the degree of trust between the partners in such a relationship is higher than in a couple who preach a standard interaction model. The duration of such alliances is different, however, the duration is primarily due to the desire of the couples themselves and the strength of interest. There are couples who have existed in similar relationships for decades, and where all partners experience happiness.

Free Love
Free Love

So what does free love mean? The analyzed format of interaction is, first of all, a conscious choice of the current participants. At the same time, all accomplices have a clear understanding of the features of the described format of relationships and do not experience negative emotions in this regard.

Not everyone is involved in such connections due to the gravitation towards freedom or personal principles. Sometimes the reasons are:

  • hobby and accompanying desire to be with the desired object;
  • interest in this topic, boredom, adventurism, a desire to try something unknown or unwind, experimentation;
  • the need to prove to your chosen one, society, yourself that such unions have no positive prospects or any future;
  • inertia , weakness, inability to refuse, lack of independence, as a result of which the individual finds himself in unfamiliar circumstances under duress;
  • intimate promiscuity, nymphomania.

Free love has a number of advantages: there is always a partner, the absence of moral encumbrances, material responsibility, everyday problems, reasons for confrontation, clarification of relations, scandals, claims, worries before a rendezvous.

The disadvantages of the analyzed format of relationships include:

  • the lack of confidence of the participants that the other partners do not yet have such connections;
  • the moral oppression of a person, when entering into such an alliance due to falling in love with another;
  • lack of prospects.

Psychologists, however, argue that, evaluating the free interaction of the sexes from the moral aspect, there can be no talk of a deep feeling, since love does not exist in couples where the participants eschew responsibility. However, the number of connections without obligations, responsibilities, duties, is constantly growing.

Thus, the described phenomenon does not consist of disorderly intimacy, as most people mistakenly believe. This misconception originated from the fault of the hippies and their motto “make love”, which means making love.

This is the ideology of interaction between individuals in love, a philosophy built on the recognition of the independence of others, love, and mutual respect. No jealousy , betrayal, possessive infringement, selfishness, quarrels and other toxicity.

You may also like to read: Signs A Girl is Falling In Love: How to Know that a Girl Loves You Truly?

The Principles of Free Love

The Principles of Free Love
The Principles of Free Love

First of all, the described format of interaction does not accept violence, regardless of its forms and limitations.

Stable relationships do not imply the unconditional belonging of their participants to each other, like a slave to a master.

Free love is a format of interaction devoid of restrictions, commands, reports, prohibitions. An exception can only be restrictions that the participants in the relationship have mutually accepted.

Below are the features of free love and its principles.

Participants in this process do not claim the independence of others by their own statements or actions. In fact, almost every individual who is in obligations to the chosen one dreams of gaining independence in their own behavior. After all, when there is a serious, stable relationship, there are always obligations.

Naturally, sometimes people get tired of such obligations. However, otherwise a stable connection will not work. This is how nature created homo sapiens. People are social creatures. And since there is a society, therefore, there are responsibilities. People who preach free love do not accept any restrictions or obligations.

Participants in the analyzed interaction format reject jealousy. However, this principle operates more theoretically, since egoism is inherent in each individual to varying degrees. Long-term relationships generate at least minimal, but attachment. Therefore, partners who adhere to free relationships will still become jealous over time. Natural suspicion, seasoned with partner provocations, often leads to confrontation.

The third principle declares the right to intimacy, love relationships, and often an official union with other individuals.

Free love is limited. It continues only as long as it satisfies the needs of all participants in the process.

Synchronicity is another postulate of no-obligation interaction, which is akin to a “flash” because it occurs at the moment and has no prospects. Only the present moment is important here. At the same time, we are not talking about the duration of the described relationship format. It’s just that the present replaces the future.

People who preach free love rejoice today in their love, and do not project a connection into the future, they do not plan the further development of the union. The key principle involves the expression of love in mutual intimacy, when both participants desire it.

Thus, free love exists only under conditions of absolute understanding by partners of its meaning and acceptance of its philosophy. No “free love” will survive without following the above provisions. At the same time, there are situations when such a format of interaction becomes the beginning of a stable union based on unconditional love.

You may also like to read: Why Men Love Sex More Than Women?
Free Love
Free Love: A Psychologist Point of View

Consequently, the analyzed form of relationship is a behavioral model that arises between individuals who are aware of all the “delights” of such interaction, and who are satisfied with being in such a union together. Moreover, they do not seek to burden themselves with any obligations or responsibility.

Ideally, the participants in the described interaction format do not make claims, do not get jealous, do not show demands. They give each other the right to independence, even if it includes communication with the opposite gender, intimate intercourse on the side, but provided that such behavior does not exceed the framework of the agreement established by them.

Therefore, preferring the described model of the union, it is necessary first to determine the boundaries, establish a set of rules that suit all participants, which will avoid further misunderstandings, unnecessary quarrels, scenes of jealousy and will greatly facilitate existence.

Having determined a specific set of rules, partners will be able to at least roughly imagine what their further interaction will be. Awareness of the meaning of free love will provide participants with the opportunity to comprehend its true philosophy, to see the advantages and disadvantages, before plunging headlong into the pool of free love.

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