In today’s article we will try to figure out how to be strong and confident woman (advice from a psychologist) and not lose the acquired skills over time. This feeling grows and develops with us throughout our lives. It can not only be successfully strengthened, but also inadvertently created conditions for complete destruction.
The Confidence: What it is?
This is a person’s personal quality, based on three essential components.
- Behavior. How an individual demonstrates his strength.
- Feeling. How he feels his own righteousness and evaluates the impact on others.
- Determination. Ability to make important decisions without delay.
These multifaceted manifestations are closely related to self-esteem and personality temperament. The most common cause of insufficient self-confidence is fear of the unknown. You never know what can await us beyond the distant turn on the path of life? Not everyone is able to openly and boldly look into the future.
But all this does not mean that overconfidence is good. Often times, she is fraught with a much greater danger. With her, such negative qualities become inherent in people.
- Excessive aggression. It manifests itself uncontrollably both in words and in deeds.
- Infantilism. Indifference, which teens suffer more often than other categories.
- Negativism. It is a bad habit to deliberately elevate yourself above others.
How is it in psychology to become a self-sufficient, relaxed and self-confident woman or girl? This means acquiring resistance to the influence of negative emotions. His ability to communicate with others directly depends on how successfully a person will protect himself from fear, indignation or worries.
Reasons for Uncertainty
As a rule, the origins of this feeling should be sought in early childhood. At the slightest manifestation of activity and interest in the world around, an individual usually receives shouts from adults: “Don’t go!”, “You can’t!”, “Don’t touch!”. So easily and simply at the root they destroy the first signs of initiative. But the parents are happy – their child has become quiet and obedient to everyone’s envy.
Unwanted behavior is perceived by babies and moms in very different ways. For some, this is a way to find out what is happening around, for others, disobedience, for which you should be punished.
For greater objectivity, it is necessary to clarify that the absence of censure does not always guarantee the opportunity to figure out how to raise and gain confidence in a woman. There are a number of other reasons:
- upbringing within the family;
- congenital characteristics;
- fear of uncertainty;
- low self-esteem;
- lack of striving for a goal;
- conflict with oneself;
- weakened willpower;
- contradictions between external and internal.
Yes, the qualities caused by biology are almost unaffected, but social ones are completely in the power of man. Everyone can fix them.
It is made up of directed emotions, decisiveness, the strength of the feelings experienced. With an uncontrolled demonstration of negativity, communication will be difficult. No one wants to be around someone who is constantly venting their anger on others.
Fear and constant anxiety are powerful deterrents. The individual is shy, his vital activity tends to zero. How, according to the advice of a psychologist, can you learn to be more sociable and feel like a confident woman at work and in life?
People are divided into three categories based on the intensity of their self-confidence.
Overly confident, prone to aggression.
- Decisive. The desire to contact others and heightened emotionality are their distinguishing features.
- Unsure. Those who lack emotions calmly dispense with communication and tend to negativism.
- Uncertainty suggests two scenarios. A person either deliberately fenced himself off from difficulties, tries to hide, or goes into an aggressive state. In fact, there is a third way of solving a problem – solving difficult situations with words.
What to Do to Be Strong and Confident Woman?
The first thing to realize is that confidence can be acquired. Of course, the impact of congenital characteristics cannot be ruled out, but you should not justify your own weakness with them. According to the advice of psychologists, how to become a stronger, calmer, sociable and confident girl, you need to act, and not be waiting for a miracle.
1. Deal with Uncertainty and Fear
This is perhaps the root of all troubles. To get rid of it, you need to understand what exactly makes you afraid. Knowing what you are fighting against increases your chances of success. Analyze your own feelings, concentrate and identify the sinister cause. Believe me, as soon as you visualize it for yourself and present it in full growth, it will seem much smaller and will not pose such a significant threat.
2. Don’t Remember the Negative?
Some people get very hung up on negative experiences in life. Day after day, they confirm their inadequacy and inability to cope with difficulties, fish out negative memories from their minds. But our brain carefully stores not only the bad, but also the good. Wouldn’t it be better to bring it out into the light every day? The “storage” of images from the past requires a special attitude.
Get in the habit of focusing exclusively on the positives. Play them in your head before going to bed. Remember also about other people’s achievements, rejoice at them and be charged with positive. In no case should you stoop to comparison.
Going through difficult life situations, get out of the “piggy bank” only what will help to cope with them and motivate you to be active.
How to restore self-confidence to a woman from the point of view of psychology? This will only happen if she refuses to focus on failure. Otherwise, a vicious circle awaits her, from which it is very difficult to escape. Consciousness slips, continues to absorb negative energy, and over time it becomes generally impossible to find at least something good in your memories.
3. Insecurity is The Self Destruction
Absolutely each of us has an amazing talent, special potential and unique abilities inherent only to him. However, the fear of self-expression and active movement towards the goal turns these wonderful qualities into an empty space. So, when you plan to solve a certain problem, but at the same time feel that you are overcome by thoughts that deny the likelihood of success, you begin to doubt and in the end you do not even get down to business.
To get out of the situation as a winner and understand how to become a very daring and attractive young girl, you will have to engage in self-development. You need to overcome yourself, destroy the wall of indecision, get rid of fears and resentments.
Exercise: How to Be Strong And Confident Woman?
To say goodbye to insecurity once and for all, you should master the following method.
Each day, record three successful cases that you managed to complete. Let it be very insignificant, random, which were not planned initially. Notice even the little things. The main thing is that these small accomplishments are prerequisites for the emergence of faith in oneself. Depending on the individual perception of the world, the reasons may be as follows.
- “I live for my family and friends.”
- “I want to make my cherished dream come true.”
- “My goal is to enjoy special moments.”
This list should be read regularly. Believe me, gradually there will be more achievements and you will understand how to be a calm, courageous and self-confident girl.
How to Stop Being Afraid of Social Contact?
Here it is important to give yourself the installation that everyone around you is also living people with their own character, interests, problems. Take a closer look at them.
- Both you and your opponent are of equal importance, you are respected. Feel free to ask questions, be interested in details, express your opinion. Indeed, very often the barrier arises due to the subconscious setting of another person above the rest. Usually this happens when interacting with the authorities, parents. Remember, beyond the employee-manager relationship, everyone is on the same level.
- Don’t take anything negative personally. If you are not guilty of anything, then you should not worry. Most likely, the reason is hidden in someone else, perhaps in your interlocutor.
- Get honest, be fair. Unjustified feelings of guilt invariably lead to self-destruction.
- Follow these guidelines to figure out how to build confidence.
Remember: The Psyche Follows the Body
In psychology, there is such a concept – “forcibly evoked emotions.” For example, if you make a person laugh, he will have fun of his own free will. To overcome uncertainty, you should:
- every time you meet friends, shake hands or hug them;
- be sure to maintain eye contact.
Gradually you will notice how your consciousness begins to withdraw with real determination.
General Recommendations for Everyday
Challenge your weakness daily.
Watch your posture. Always keep your back straight, walk with your shoulders straight, do not lower your head. Take your time when walking, walk slowly. This is the only way confident girls behave. They do not run away, they proudly walk forward.
Stay in the forefront at any event. Try to be noticed, paid attention, invited to an active discussion. Yes, at first it will not be easy, but gradually you yourself will begin to be active and strive for action.
Don’t underestimate your ability. Recognize them and value yourself for them. At your leisure, make a list of all your positive traits and skills and revise it regularly.
Learn to smile genuinely. With a smile on your face, it is much easier to overcome any difficulties.
Feel free to look into the eyes of your interlocutor. Trying to look away can be perceived as an intention to lie.
Take action, don’t sit still. Show your potential in all kinds of areas.
Adopt these tips and you can become a more self-confident girl.
Develop Confident Person Skills
All women need to master these skills:
- the ability to learn from their own mistakes;
- find a compromise in difficult situations;
- focus on important things;
- take criticism calmly;
- talk openly about your shortcomings, listen without unnecessary emotions to complaints from men.
It is very important to believe in yourself at a certain stage in your life. This is the only way to gain self-confidence and determination. It is clear that this cannot be done without good reason. To do this, you need to develop dignity and accustom yourself to the right actions in specific situations. To cast aside doubts, study the signs of a confident woman or girl in the photo, what is she? Do you want to be like her?
Psychologist’s Tips for Developing Good Qualities in Confident People
If you answered yes to the question asked by the paragraph above, then:
- stop feeling sorry for yourself all the time;
- treat yourself with respect;
- watch your appearance and smile more often;
- strive for self-realization;
- decide what you really want to do, what gives you pleasure.
How to Be Strong And Confident Woman: Step-by-Step Instruction
To listen to the advice of experts or not is everyone’s personal business. The result largely depends on the seriousness of the perception. Remember, women’s self-confidence is not able to develop from scratch, in a static state you will not achieve anything. It is very important to understand the task in detail and boldly move towards its solution. This should be done in stages, thoughtfully.
Record your own achievements and successes. Ignore those who say that writing is meaningless. After all, people tend to forget about the small successes that take place in their lives. This is absolutely impossible to allow.
Try to fight your fear. Achieving the desired result implies constantly overcoming obstacles on the way to it. Until you make a bunch of mistakes and learn how to correct them yourself, you should not count on winning. Only experience, often difficult, allows us to reach the transcendental heights to which we strive so much.
Say no to comparison. How to look and feel confident? This is impossible if you constantly engage in comparisons with others. Self-esteem from this is rapidly declining.
Take failures calmly. Do not concentrate on them too much, do not make eternal torment into the meaning of life. Digging into the negative day after day, going over the worst in your mind, you will never dare to make an important decision. Understand that mistakes and difficulties are everyone’s lot. Only someone overcomes them with dignity, while someone prefers to suffer in inaction. It’s up to you to choose.
Criticism is not always beneficial. Proven by psychologists. For those who are constantly reproached and criticized at an early age, it is much more difficult to overcome the fear of doing something wrong in the future. Set yourself up to communicate with exceptionally kind people who do not shower you with claims, discontent, or poke you at failure for no reason.
Work on your speaking style. Speak slowly, speak the words so as not to be misunderstood. Speak up, feel free to share your opinion with others.
Get in the habit of complimenting yourself. This is necessary for any woman to gain self-confidence . Constant encouraging thoughts will not make you wait long for the result. You yourself will feel how, from the praise, you want to immediately start new achievements.
Some More Tips
A decisive person has a good sense of humor, looks straight, does not bend under the mental burden of circumstances. To achieve this, you need to overcome numerous barriers every day and constantly work on yourself. Take on a few more useful tips:
- Joke and have fun. A positive attitude attracts people who will certainly want to recharge them. Communicate freely, be open.
- Make eye contact with the person you are talking to. A look away from the side speaks of insincerity. Nobody likes a lie, don’t forget.
If someone doubts your ability, don’t overreact. Understand yourself, think about why they think so. Gradually train yourself to think that everything will work out, you will overcome everything.
You may also like to read: A Complete Guide For Self-Development.
Now summing up the topic – how to be strong and confident woman, let us remind you once again to understand how to give a girl or woman a confident look and develop self-confidence, you cannot sit back. You need to act, engage in self-development, master skills and instill good habits. This is the only way you will achieve impressive results.
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