Let’s discuss – how to choose between two men. There is a well-known quote: “The woman herself chooses the man who chooses her.” If you like two men, which one should you choose? This question is asked by many women when they think about a relationship with a man. And they are doing the right thing, not to start them with the first man they come across.
And if they are not thinking about superficial relationships, but about marriage, that is, about serious relationships, which imply that people have a mutual responsibility to each other, then choosing a candidate for husbands becomes a challenging task for them.
After all, getting married to just anyone is also not a matter, since it is challenging, if not impossible, to live with the wrong person under one roof, since such a life eventually turns into absolute hell.
Therefore, the choice should be such that in the future, the woman will not regret and will not say that the man whom she chose has ruined her whole life. Therefore, you need to select a man contrary to cultivated opinion, not with the heart and the soul, but with the mind.
How to Choose Between Two Men?
After all, your life depends on such a choice, dear woman. So, let’s take a look together and think about how to do it correctly. Here are some important points you should consider when choosing between two men:
1. Don’t Pay Attention to Married and Very Successful Man
I want to advise you, dear women, not to pay attention to married and very successful men in life. If you aim to build a serious relationship in which you will be not just a wife for your man, but number one in life, and most importantly, not one of his mistresses.
Of course, situations, like men, are different, and a man’s success can also be relative, and a woman’s attitude to life can also be unique. She may not care with whom and how she lives, as long as her husband provides her and does not interfere with living your life.
Therefore, I do not insist that married men should not be paid attention at all. Still, I clarify that if you are interested, let’s say, in the classic relationship between a man and a woman, a woman is respected by her man and does not serve him as a slave.
And also, if you do not have a lot of time to build relationships with a married man, to take him away from his wife, then hoping for the conquest of such a man. If he is also successful in life, has a large selection of women, it is a waste of time and effort since the likelihood that he wants to build with you, at least a more or less serious relationship, is extremely small.
Again, I am not saying that this is a downright golden rule that applies to all situations without exception and should not be violated in any case. I understand, or rather, I know that it contradicts the recommendations of some other experts, who, on the contrary, recommend that women pay attention to married men to try to take them away from the family, as they are more suitable for serious relationships.
I do not think this is correct, and below I will explain my position on this issue in more detail. In the meantime, I will tell you that judging by the army of mistresses that I know about and with whom I had a chance to communicate, including on this topic, relations with a married man in most cases turn out to be hopeless, in terms of the fact that this man does not manage to be taken away from the family.
An average man will not leave the family unless he has severe problems in this family. And if he does this, if he leaves his family for no good reason, but simply because he could be seduced into something more, then think about what he is still capable of for the sake of something new or someone else.
2. Ask Yourself: Is He Capable of Betraying You?
Interestingly, a modern woman has a certain freedom, including in our country – she has the right to count on normal relations with a man worthy of her. She, I believe, should have self-esteem, a sense of self-respect, and moderate pride, and all this is not to the detriment of her personal life, not to the detriment of her relationship with a man.
Why, at the same time, become a voluntary concubine of some, no matter what, one man, why become a toy in his hands, why to be content with little, having the opportunity to get more, I do not know.
3. Think for Yourself First
I believe that if a woman is interested in a serious, full-fledged, traditional relationship with a man, thanks to which she will feel like a woman. Then she should look for a free man, regardless of her age, than to be a lover of a married man – hoping that someday, perhaps, he will go to her. It is unlikely to happen.
And if a woman wants to have a family, if she considers herself worthy of an average family and a respectful attitude to herself, then one cannot believe in the promises of married men. They will most likely deceive you. And you cannot afford to waste precious years of your life on promises.
4. Don’t Run the Risk of Getting Nothing
After all, when we discuss the likelihood of something, relying primarily on statistics, what cases should we consider the most probable, which often occur or rarely happen? And how often do men who have a wife, and besides, if they are also thriving, at least more or less, leave their wives for other women? Or much more often they have many mistresses, usually much younger than yourself?
How Do You Think the Statistics Speak in Favor of Which Option?
According to my observations, the second is much more common. That is why I am giving you such recommendations. I rarely came across situations when an ordinary, successful man leaves his wife for another woman.
But many people like to play with their mistresses. And this is not only my statistics – many people will tell you about this, who work with similar situations. And women themselves often write about this on the Internet, on the forums.
You can read about it yourself if you don’t have friends who play such a role as an eternal lover; for some men, they consider the only option for themselves. Well, isn’t this the voluntary role of a concubine? You need such a role – decide for yourself. Just don’t dream that someday a married man will…
Now let’s consider with you such a moment as meeting at work. After all, when thinking about which man to choose, many women often consider their work colleagues acceptable for a serious relationship. And, it would seem a great option, and often people get to know each other in this way, at work, since they do not have time to meet on the side.
And people at work are more or less familiar with each other, they get used to each other over the years, so it’s easier for them to get along. But let’s think about what kind of work some people have today, when for a raise, for a promotion, for a raise in salary, for a bonus, people are not only willing to sell their partner, their mother.
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What Kind of Work am I Talking About?
It should always be taken into account. Not every job can find a husband or even a man for a relationship without obligation. Always consider the nature of your job to avoid confusing interests with connections. It may end up betraying a man for you. Just consider this. I encountered these problems, or instead, worked with them, so I warn you about them.
And suppose you have a business where the line between personal life and economic benefits is often blurred. It isn’t easy to understand what motivates this person when he meets you, what goals he pursues.
In that case, the likelihood of being betrayed is even higher. I’m not scaring you; I’m just talking about situations that, unfortunately, happen in life, so you should be aware of them in order not to make mistakes that can be avoided entirely.
At the same time, I do not exclude the possibility that acquaintance at work can be pretty successful, depending on which man you choose. In some cases, this is generally the only opportunity for a woman to find a husband.
For example, timid, notorious girls who not only could not get to know a man, they were afraid of them turned to me for advice. We considered such an option – meeting at work since it was the most straightforward and most suitable opportunity to start some romance due to their character and peculiarities of life.
For them, this was the first step towards a relationship with a man, and they risked nothing, not a job, not a salary, nothing. But in business, everything is more complicated, there is less sincerity, and many goals pursued by people can intersect, which harms relationships.
Business and personal life are complicated because there is often very little sincerity in a relationship because of the other benefits that a man can pursue. You never know what is behind the excellent attitude towards you – economic gain or feelings for you.
A job where people use each other for personal gain is similar. So, if possible, I recommend that you not combine your personal life and work or business, especially in situations where you do not know exactly what attracts a man to you. But if you have no other options for dating a man, then do not exclude this possibility.
5. Just Choose A Simple Man, Not Very Ambitious
Just choose a more spartan man, not very ambitious, who loves to walk over other people’s heads to achieve his goal. Such one can betray. And in business, try not to introduce a man to the essence of your affairs; make sure that he is interested in you and not in your experiences.
So, if possible, I recommend that you not combine your personal life and work or business, especially in situations where you do not know exactly what attracts a man to you. But if you have no other options for dating a man, then do not exclude this possibility.
As for divorced men, or those who have never been married, such options are often quite successful in building a serious relationship with them.
At the same time, many women do not value such men highly enough; they consider them in some sense to be losers because they do not have a woman, which means that they are not attractive to anyone.
Some women think that divorced men cannot get along with anyone and have many shortcomings, so women leave them. And, it would seem, this is logical because if a man is divorced, then there is a high probability that he cannot get along with women, so you need to be on your guard with him. And some women even believe that a divorced or unmarried man is a terrible option, unsuitable for family life. It is a big misconception.
After all, if a man is divorced, how do we know why is he got divorced? Suddenly, the whole thing is in a woman who might not be very smart, in general, and in a particular case. If, for example, a woman cheated on a man, not because he is terrible, but because she has such a nature, and the man divorced her after that, then why is he bad? You can never judge a person without understanding himself and his life correctly. Otherwise, how can you evaluate him? How can you know who he is?
Here is this stereotype, according to many women, women do not leave good men. Also, that an unmarried man is worthless, that good man is not abandoned. So on, well, this very much generalizes all cases with single men, as a result of which many women immediately cut off a large category of quite worthy men, with whom they could build a perfect relationship.
Instead, they begin to flock around married and successful men, becoming their mistresses, of whom the latter may have a lot, and they all promise, promise, promise, tell fairy tales to use them.
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Is this normal for you? You decide. You, tell me, please, why would a married man leave his wife, with whom he lived for many years, has children, a well-arranged life, a good relationship? Why would he leave his wife and go to another woman when it is much easier and more profitable to have a mistress or even several mistresses who can be used at any convenient time?
What sense does he have in depriving himself of the comfort that he has? Only one thing can make him leave the family – problems with his wife. Well, or any other issues in the family, which stress him and which he does not want to solve. But if these problems exist, it turns out that it is only a problem man who can have issues with his wife, which means that you can have these problems with him.
Besides, if a man leaves his wife for you, then who is he? Isn’t he a traitor? Then he can go you too, to a more attractive woman, from his point of view. It means that a man who leaves his wife for you is no better than the man who divorced his wife and lived alone before meeting you. Therefore, there is no difference between them.
As you can see, if this logic guides you, then the circle is closed. Therefore, if there is no difference, it is better to choose a free man than a married one to build a serious relationship. He will at least need a serious relationship with you if he needs it.
However, some women want a ready-made man for themselves, who does not need to be fiddled with, who does not need to be brought up, who does not need to be taught, who has already achieved everything in life – he is successful, he is popular with women, in general, he is engaging in many relationships. Of course, this is a desirable option.
An accomplished man, good in many ways. But an excellent option, firstly, does not mean affordable, and secondly, it has its price. Can you pretend to be such a man? Sure, you can.
Any woman can claim any man. But the question is, what kind of work is she willing to do to get a fantastic man from her point of view. And what is even more important – what sacrifices is she ready to make to get such a man?
And even so, the question can still be raised – how much a woman considers her personality traits and characteristics worthy of such a man, what can she offer him? You see how difficult these are when you think about them.
At the same time, one should not forget about the man’s interests, who has his dreams and desires and must be considered. Here you, dear readers, to understand a man, from the position of a woman, think about what you can want from a man if everything in your life is in perfect order, both in material terms and in your personal life? Only diversity, right?
You would not mind if you had a lover who would do everything for you, but at the same time, you would live your life in which everything suits you. Why change something? Why destroy something if everything is okay with you?
So, men look at life the same way. Most, even more, or less successful men with whom I talked, all as one – lived according to the same standard – there is a wife and a mistress or several mistresses, to whom they did not even plan to leave. It’s convenient. That is why it is so common.
Such a life can be condemned, but people live this way. So, you need to consider this approach to life from the outside. Well, I won’t say that there are many, let’s say, some men. You need to take their interests into account when planning your life. You can get a good man by many criteria, but think about how?
How Can A Married and Successful Man Be A Successful Option for You?
Due to the attention to him on your part, due to spiritual closeness, due to your unique relationship with him. At the same time, sex will be an excellent addition to this attitude, but not your primary advantage.
For sex, a wife is not needed; for sex, a lover is enough. And what does it take to establish spiritual closeness, to give a man the attention he needs, to treat him in such a way that he will be wholly delighted with you?
6. You Need to Take Your Time
You need to devote a lot of time to a man, a lot, thinking only about how to make him better, how to charm him, how to make good on him, and what’s sound is a perfect impression. And this, forcing women to push aside everything – work, business, children, girlfriends, and so on.
Are you ready to make the man you are interested in the center of your life and start developing various strategies to win his heart until you succeed? And in general, is this man worth such sacrifices?
But unmarried men have an additional incentive to create a serious relationship with a woman – they need a woman, they may want a family, children, love, and attention. Moreover, they need not just a woman-female; they need a woman-friend, a woman-hostess, a woman-interlocutor. They need a woman’s support, recognition, and respect.
With such men, there is much more chance of starting a family. Yes, many are not ideal options for various reasons, but how could it be otherwise? Otherwise, they would already have a woman and more than one. And we would not talk about unmarried men.
However, they all have their drawbacks, and you must understand this. Therefore, if you and I now weed out all the unattractive options – divorced, unmarried, never-married men, and so on, then who will remain with us?
Those will remain who only need you as a mistress. In other words, in theory, everything is beautiful. You can describe the ideal man and dream about him and wait for your prince on a white horse, but how often does this approach to life, to a relationship with a man, lead to success?
You understand that not often. Therefore, you can count on exceptions or increase your chances of finding a man by choosing him among those who need a woman. And it is needed more by those who do not have it.
7. Think Personally, Which is More Suitable to You
I also want to say that many, let’s say, not very successful men are especially deprived of female attention, so they have more incentive to get to know a woman, which is natural. Well, what you can get from such a man, in addition to himself, depends on each specific case. If, for example, you need an apartment, a car, expensive jewelry, and all that stuff, then maybe you don’t need a man but a sponsor?
Therefore, the approach to choosing a male sponsor should be different. And now we are still considering an option for a serious relationship without considering the economic benefits. Therefore, you need to evaluate a man, first of all, by his personal qualities.
Many, not rich and not status men, can be fascinating people with whom you will feel good and who will not sit on your neck and somehow use you. But they can only give you what they can provide you. So, you decide what you need more – the person himself or what he possesses.
As you can see, choosing a man for a serious relationship, on the one hand, is not easy, since you need to take this matter seriously and spend some time on it, and on the other hand, it is easy, if you do not make too great demands on the man.
The more demands you make on a man, the more difficult it is for you to find him, and the more demands he will present to you. So, evaluate your capabilities objectively so as not to try to bite a nut that is too tough for you. Some women have many desires – they need a rich man, a status man, a wise man, a kind, a loyal, and a handsome man, while they do not have much to offer him in return.
And I’m not even talking about those women who dream of men who do not exist in nature. Of course, these dreams are not always profound, often women justify their loneliness with them, but they prevent you, dear women, from finding your happiness. Learn to find a compromise between your desires and what you can get. Do not forget that if you want too much, you run the risk of being left behind.
Be more straightforward and more innovative – do not be greedy, do not demand too much from life, and then it will give you what you deserve. It will be enough for you to be happy. And then she will provide you with what you deserve. It will be enough for you to be happy.