Have you noticed that your psychological attitudes interfere with living a normal, fulfilling life? And with a large number, they overlap each other, forming a kind of block. It creates a lot of problems, hinders the achievement of goals, and greatly affects self-esteem. In this article, we will touch upon a topic in psychology about how to get rid of complexes, become confident and love yourself.
Complexes: What is It, and Varieties
The term was first introduced in their works by Carl Jung and Sigmund Freud. They found that these blockages are due to mental trauma most often experienced in childhood. They are caused by events or phenomena that are not noticeable at first glance.
They are inextricably linked to people or memories where a person interacted with others. This includes the worldview and views on reality, which are also formed under the influence of the environment. But the main difference between beliefs is that they are on the surface, that is, at a conscious level. They can be rethought and modified. Whereas the place for complexes is subconscious, and how to deal with them is not an easy question. They are well and deeply hidden, so it is worth trying to find their root cause.
Almost everyone has these blocks. Some of them have such a powerful energy that they can ruin life, others are insignificant, and we do not even notice them. Let’s consider their varieties:
- Male and female. Often they bear the names of outstanding personalities that best suit them. For example, Napoleon or Electra.
- Physical. They are related to appearance or to a psychological aspect (loser, guilt, etc.).
- Positive. The winner or hero complex helps a person climb the career ladder and become successful. But often this group is also considered negative.
Why There is A Feeling of Insecurity?
In simple words, such blocks are a negative self-image of a person. Imagine that you yourself have hung a heavy weight on your leg, preventing you from walking on a par with the rest. Before you understand how to cope with complexes and stop being notorious, you need to realize that they reflect the internal state of a particular individual, which differs from the rest in uniqueness. But since we all grew up in more or less the same conditions, a group of attitudes inherent in all stands out. For example, the most common feelings of guilt or difficulty in dealing with the opposite sex.
Often the problem begins in childhood. Imagine that in the third grade at school, a teacher put us in front of classmates and parents and decided to scold us for minor offenses. In this case, she tried, but, as it seemed to her, exclusively for good purposes.
If you take things to heart, then near the blackboard you will experience the strongest emotions. This feeling will be fixed on a subconscious level and will haunt in adulthood.
In case you feel lonely or abandoned, it may be because you were left alone for a long time as a child. The feeling of inferiority arises from frequent humiliation in the past.
The list goes on and on. But do not think that complexes arise solely from bright shocks. The reason for the blocks is often the phrases heard in your address. “What kind of child are you? When will you be normal?” or “Look at the other kids, and you’re a fool”. Careless statements by adults have their negative consequences. Kids perceive them more sharply, they do not yet have their own opinion, and their psyche has not been completely formed. Parents are an authority for them. And if they tell us that they don’t like us or that everything is wrong with us, the result will be disastrous.
What is The Impact of Complexes on Life?
Such attitudes do not allow us to fully spread our wings. They deprive a person of freedom, creativity, and this is already reflected in the things that are really important to him.
After all, blocks “include” the same, ineffective behavior in those situations where they are involved. Because of this, the world seems to stop, nothing changes.
For example, you want to start traveling for a long time, write a book, start a family, leave your unloved job and earn money by doing what you love. But as soon as you take the first step, an oppressive feeling appears, a state with concrete thoughts and images, doubts. And you give up trying to change.
Do I Need to Fight My Complexes?
If the blocks interfere with living a full life and doing what you want, then, of course, it is necessary to over block them. But there are attitudes that are also positive. For example, psychologist Adler, who discovered the concept of inferiority, believed that it was useful. It makes people improve and grow. If a person is satisfied with himself, then he does not think about development. This means that he will never become the best version of himself. But remember that deliverance is not the ultimate goal. It is only a tool to find freedom.
The First Steps in The Fight Against Psychological Attitudes
Before getting rid of the block, you need to see at what moment it starts to “turn on”. If a person is not aware of its presence, then he will not take action to eliminate it. And the discomfort will continue to appear every time.
The next stage is the return of attention to the body. Relax and start watching. You will notice that gradually the tightness in the psyche will begin to decrease. Try to feel your face, back, arms and legs separately. Take a deep breath. To calm down, shake gently with your palms.
Stop the flow of thoughts. Internal dialogues interfere with the fight against complexes, as they emotionally feed them. It is not easy to stop reflecting, especially in the neglected state of being included in the block. Some thought processes take place deep in the subconscious, and we may not notice them. Therefore, do not think that you will be able to do it instantly. It takes time and lots of training.
Give a name to the bad feeling. This way you will become familiar with your own traumatized image. Ask yourself, “What am I experiencing now? What’s going on in me? ” Perhaps there is shame or guilt behind the worry. And irritation is a mask for resentment or envy. Knowing the “enemy” by sight, it is easier to defeat him. After all, everything unfamiliar and unknown is experienced more difficult.
And most importantly, learn to love and respect yourself. It is necessary to stop depending on the opinions of others and the views of others. Do not hesitate to seem “different from everyone else”, do not try to please everyone around you. Accept yourself along with your own shortcomings and remember that you have more advantages. And when you do, many installations will go away on their own.
7 Tips on How to Stop Having Complexes and Overcome Your Complexes
Blocks come in many varieties. And each of them requires an individual approach. But there are universal ways that can alleviate the condition. I’ll tell you about them:
- The first and most important recommendation is to try to understand where they came from. After all, there can be no smoke without fire and, perhaps, specific actions will be needed, and not a trip to a psychologist. For example, if you are ashamed of being overweight, then reconsider your diet or sign up for the gym.
- Change your viewing angle to things. There are no perfect people. Personality has its pluses and minuses. But the difference is that some pay attention to the merits, while others – to the disadvantages. Look for the best in yourself, develop and work on the negative sides.
- Another piece of advice on how to become free from your complexes and fight them is to try to live without fear of others. You should not act, looking back at public opinion (within reason, of course). Do not be afraid to seem ridiculous, treat reality more simply and you will see – many attitudes will disappear by themselves.
- Concentrate on feeling confident. Getting overconfident isn’t as difficult as it sounds. For an individual person, the way is different. Some need to change their appearance, others need to improve professionally or intellectually, and even martial arts help others .
- Be active in getting rid of complexes. Psychological training will not help if not supported by practice. If there is a block in communicating with strangers, try approaching strangers. And if you don’t think you’re attractive enough, change your hairstyle or buy a new outfit.
- Accept your own flaws. Do not show others your weakness, because this may worsen the situation.
- Love life. After all, it is given once. Rejoice every minute and do not fall into apathy or despondency. The fight should be pleasant and not uncomfortable.
How to Overcome Your Complexes: Mechanisms
Psychological attitudes are often negative. However, their presence shows the usefulness of the individual. After all, people with an unhealthy psyche do not have a sense of insecurity due to a violation of the perception of their personality. They don’t think about someone else’s opinion or getting rid of discomfort. And this is not always good, because overcoming stiffness leads to self-development. Let’s see in what areas this can happen and what needs to be done in this case.
A State of Inferiority
Its manifestation is that we constantly compare ourselves with others and think that we are not up to them. The most common type is a clamp due to its appearance. And this is not surprising: television, the Internet, the streets of the city are full of advertisements with beautiful, “ideal” people. Because of this, we begin to fixate on our own cons. The same situation occurs due to the financial situation.
The fear of looking stupid also belongs to variety. A person constantly tries to control himself, fearing what others will say. He does not do what he wants, but afterwards he regrets the missed moments and opportunities.
One thing will tell you how to remove self-doubt complexes. People are also afraid to look stupid in front of you, they just don’t talk about it. And you look at it from the other side: with ease and fun you improve the mood of others. Take small steps to overcome this fear and act by turning off self-control.
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Problems with The Opposite Sex: How to Solve?
This group includes the case when a girl does not start a relationship for fear of being betrayed or abandoned. This fear comes from childhood, bad relationships with the father, or even because of their absence.
The opposite situation may also occur: a woman from a good, loving family will compare all the suitors to her dad. The gentlemen will either have no chance, or they will be constantly criticized, and they themselves will run away from the chosen one.
Difficulties also arise due to an inferiority complex. A person is ashamed of his appearance and is afraid to get acquainted. Or vice versa: trying to prove superiority by frequently changing partners.
The main way to get rid of this block is to settle the relationship with the father. Try to understand his behavior and forgive him insults. A sincere, sincere conversation will help here. But if it is impossible, then do it mentally.
In case the relationship was good, it may have been caused by a bad romance in the past. It is worth realizing here that if one man acted badly, this does not mean that everyone around is like that.
Fear of Responsibility and How to Overcome It?
This is a kind of risk. A person is afraid to be responsible for what happens to his in life. But at the same time she is outraged that others are bad, and he is good.
In scientific terms, a person is in protection mode. Inaction is a comfortable existence for him, and it is easy to blame others for failures.
It is possible to overcome these complexes in yourself, realizing that you are solely responsible for what happens. You give up your favorite job or occupation because you are afraid of failure. The therapy is: do not hesitate to take the initiative. Offer constructive ideas, take on an interesting project. Even if it seems too complicated, you can handle it.
Feeling Guilty and Fighting It
It manifests itself in the fact that it is difficult for an individual to refuse help, as he feels guilty. This leads to the fact that acquaintances use it for their own gain. And he, drenched in sweat, performs the tasks assigned to him, trying to compensate for the damage caused to him, although he did not exist at all.
The main rule of how to be without these complexes is to learn to say “No”. You don’t have to agree to requests if you don’t want to fulfill them. And this is not disrespectful. If there are really good reasons not to go forward, they will understand you and will not hold a grudge.
Fear of Expressing One’s Own Opinion
The beginning of the installation is to be found in childhood. Many children have it hammered into their heads that boys don’t cry or that it is indecent to laugh loudly. Children begin to think that it is impossible to show emotions in public. And growing up, they will be silent until the last, even if they are uncomfortable.
How to learn not to be complex? In this case, only practice will help. You have to overpower yourself and say what you don’t like. For example, a window was opened in the office and you feel cold. Do not endure and spoil your health – politely ask him to cover up.
Fear of Confined or Open Space, Height, and Darkness
They are more related to phobias and appear due to traumatic situations. You may not even remember about them, but fear still remains. For example, as a child, a child was stuck in an elevator for a long time and now experiences discomfort in such places.
There are several ways how to overcome your complexes and complexes. You can apply a “head-on collision” and get out of your comfort zone. If claustrophobic, climb into the closet and sit there for a couple of hours. Or jump with a parachute if you’re afraid of heights.
If such a step is too risky, compensate for it with a pleasant thing. Take a chocolate bar in the wardrobe so that the darkness does not scare so much.
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This is necessary because blocks interfere with living fully. The individual cannot do what he wants. He is afraid to express his own displeasure with discomfort, meet new people, or refuse requests when he does not like them.
In psychology, the topic of complexes and how a person can get rid of them occupies a rather large place. The roots lie deep in the subconscious and it can be difficult to get to them. But at PathThatFits consultations, together we will find the root cause and make your life better and more pleasant.