Girls worry even about the emotional state of those who are not very sympathetic to them, so they are looking for options on how to turn down a guy politely without offending him. The individuality of each story does not make it possible to find a universal pattern of behavior, so it is necessary to take into account a lot of influencing little things, for example, a relationship with a person (you can simply ignore a stranger, but it is better to talk to your best friend). A guy’s temperament and cultural background also plays a role, since some polite refusal can be perceived as flirtatious and activate more assertive actions, and a too harsh word can hurt another.
An important point is the preservation of the well-being of the girl herself, because while options are being looked for how to refuse a guy so that he would not be offended, internal tension can build up from a suspended situation. For some, quick methods are suitable that suppress any attempts at rapprochement, others prefer to save psychic energy and go into silent disregard. Any of them can work, the only question is the duration, efficiency, resources expended. The main thing is your own peace of mind, even if for the sake of this you have to offend another person who does not understand in an amicable way and ignores polite explanations.
How to Turn Down A Guy Politely So As not to Offend Him?
The purpose of any conversation is to convey beautifully that you do not want any future or joint plans. Hints, lengthy explanations and lies will not work here – you will have to speak directly and not be afraid. Guys will better accept honesty and being an idiot than endless broken promises. Of course, it’s worth figuring out how to politely refuse a guy, because his sympathy is not a reason to be rude. This applies to normal relationships, when he shows interest, tries to win your favor and attention, does beautiful things and tries. For a drunken and boorish fellow traveler, you can choose the strategy of action at your discretion, sometimes it is even worth offending, not being afraid to refuse the guy.
In order not to offend him, indicate his efforts (that is, you noticed), thank (that is, this is already valuable) – this will be both praise and a simultaneous statement that there is no need to try even more (his efforts are noticed and appreciated but that’s not the point) to change your mind. You can motivate the refusal after that with anything – existing relationships or just a busy heart, the fact that he is not your type or now there is no time for relationships, with different goals. Try to list yourself, your plans and feelings in the reasons, instead of the shortcomings of another – it will be safer and more environmentally friendly.
After everything has been announced very simply and honestly, some may still try not to believe and annoy them with calls. It is necessary to stop right away – do not pick up the phone, ask to see off other men if he meets at the entrance. Many girls, after they refuse a guy, continue to communicate with him in the previous semi-romantic manner, which plunges him into bewilderment, and he may consider all the previous conversations insignificant.
Another option – it is the continuation of such communication that will offend the guy when he realizes that he is being used, but they do not promise anything. You can correspond, discuss general topics, but not at night and on weekends, do not send hearts and romantic pictures. Categorization must be fully maintained, no offers of friendship, promises to think and promises that you may find time for a relationship later. Turning into a manipulator and leaving yourself a spare lifebuoy, you launch an emotional bomb, which then will hit you anyway.
Choose the right time (and the day of the week, and evening or morning) so that any careful words, carefully chosen, do not turn against you. When he is tired, angry, quarreled with a friend, got sick (any strong negative moments) – it is better to wait it out so that the failure of his personal life does not finish off. Losers who are constantly in trouble can be encouraged, but not wait until they feel better in a couple of years. It is worth talking in private, if you do not want to offend and ruin his reputation and self-esteem – any witnesses of refusal amplify his effect at times. And if after an individual conversation you can forget about it, then people will demand a reaction from him and not the fact that he will be able to give out what is adequate and favorable.
Refusal to Date
The difficulty in refusing a guy from dating usually lies in the fact that this offer is voiced personally and unexpectedly. You do not have time to come up with words, to take a break, to adequately react emotionally. You will have to navigate a little earlier, noticing signs of sympathy and the development of relationships. It’s good to be honest with yourself why you allow courtship and don’t want to date. If a person does not fit, then do not entertain him with illusions and refuse, but if the guy likes it, but does not let something inside (injuries, complexes, little familiar), then this is worth talking about.
Do not lose a person because of the speed of events, but continue to build a trusting interaction by telling that he is cute, but you don’t want to get close so quickly. Talk about its importance and ask to wait a little, be there, or give you strength.
If the person is not yours, then you can gently refuse the guy to meet in the correspondence. This is not the most polite, but sometimes the most painless option, it is especially suitable when the main communication takes place online or the guy himself started a conversation with messages. You do not have to frantically select words and stumble, there is time to think over every word. He also has a lot of advantages that preserve his dignity – behind the emoticons and text you can’t see the person’s face, you can’t see his true emotional reaction.
Do not use this method if the proposal was made in person and you took time to think. Scary and unsettling were natural feelings, but he also had a hard time taking the first step. Try to start a dialogue with the disclosure of your experiences, say how anxious you are that you are afraid of his reaction, you want only the best, but you feel uncomfortable.
Everyone has the right to refuse a relationship, no matter how wonderful a person is in front of him, the main thing is to do it honestly and culturally. It is better not to give any reasons at all than to lie about his departure (he will meet you) or existing relationships (friends will tell you that she is alone), otherwise it looks like an excuse and an insult.
You should be careful to be honest when it turns into insults – don’t say that he is ugly or stupid, that you are looking for someone richer. Do not create the feeling that he has something to work on, and even more so, do not give clear instructions on how to change him, that it is worth a little bit, and you will be together.
You can ignore any interaction after such conversations only with extremely unpleasant people or those who begin to show signs of inadequacy (annoying with calls, guarding at the house), communicate with the rest, as before, without changing your behavior in any way. The best strategy is to pretend that nothing happened, so you give him a chance to leave his self-perception normal and continue to communicate in a positive way.
It is worth turning on the ignore if the guy did not understand the conversation, but then we are not talking about caring for his feelings. Do not talk about what happened, because not everyone knows how to keep secrets and the way in which it can then reach the guy will eventually completely alter all the works so that the refusal does not become offensive.
If a guy continues to admire you, despite an outright refusal, and for some reason you don’t want to offend him, then you can try to destroy your own ideal image in his mind. Those who are in love with a gentle creature, loving art should face you sitting on a parapet with seeds, laughing loudly and telling stupid and vulgar jokes. You can kill him and women, dragging him around shops and salons, talking only about cosmetics and the latest innovations in non-surgical cosmetology. You can be a bore, but you can feel free to tell all the details that are usually silent about (details of menstruation, features of hair removal and other less aesthetic topics).
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Denial of Proximity
When a man insists on intimacy, it means that there is already some kind of relationship and sympathy between you, even if this is the very first date, the girl’s readiness for such a step is quite another matter. Sometimes the onslaught and beliefs are so persistent that there is practically nowhere to go and the girl agrees without desire, then she regrets or even disappears from the man’s life without warning, unable to survive her emotions. Why a man ignores or does not see your evasive behavior is a lot – from pure love and desire, which overshadowed everything, to the fact that he does not care about experiences, but there is only a goal. In any case, it is necessary to refuse, preserving your psyche and do it carefully, since it is the topic of intimacy that is the most significant and painful for many men. Incorrect refusals sometimes caused such a strong outburst of aggression,
Refuse should be confident, because if even the slightest doubt or uncertainty is heard, then they may begin to pressure, persuade, manipulate on you depending on the level of development of your partner. Maybe he will take this as a game and continue courting even more persistently, or maybe he will start to cultivate your complexes and blackmail with your own departure, if you do not agree. Yes, the refusal was not perfect, but the one who at such early stages manipulates and lowers your self-esteem, instead of bathing in care further, will turn into a tyrant or disappear.
If you are going to not only temporarily refuse intimacy, but finally say goodbye to the applicant for the place of a permanent partner, then there are two sharp options. The first one is that you tell in detail your previous experience, experiences, remaining experiences, how long you have been waiting for that man. The main thing is more emotionality and details – girls with a past and so actively clinging to it are not needed by anyone and he will definitely refuse. You can also refer to religiosity and call to get acquainted with the whole family and ask for blessings in the church. Those in a hurry with intimacy do not respond well to such conditions and prefer to find someone with whom it will be easier to negotiate.
If you like a man, but you don’t want to rush things, then talk about it directly. Say that you are considering this option, but a little later, but for now I want to get to know it better, even if you already agree to everything, but now you are wearing the wrong set of underwear. Such frankness and transfer of intimacy excites, adds interest and activates relationships. The longer you endure the pleasant, the more he gets angry and disappointed, he invests more money and emotions, which he will regret later and will give you nerves.
Refusal of intimacy is also an important topic, not only for the first time, but also in a constant partnership when desires do not coincide. Here it is impossible to declare directly about the lack of desire, but it is better to look for some other reason. In fact, for some reason, there is no desire – something may be ill or there was a nervous day, you could be tired or just had a fight. Talk better about these reasons, they do not hurt your partner, in addition, you can unexpectedly receive care, after which your desire for intimacy will suddenly return.
Speak affectionately, refusing the guy in intimacy, then such a conversation can be held unnoticed, and the refusal will turn into a discussion of other topics. But if you answer sharply and with an irritated face, then the chance of a scandal increases. In addition, a long-term relationship involves such an everyday thing as a request to transfer. Several times, when it’s late and the partner, silently, caresses not intimacy, you can pretend to be asleep. In fact, if you are woken up for this, then you have every right to mutter awake and then roll over to watch the dream.
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How Refuse to Date Politely?
It’s okay to be reluctant to go on a date, but refusal for some reason makes you worry. To take less responsibility for refusal, you can ask why he decided to invite you. It can be popularity or beauty, a desire to know something, or you were the first one he met, or perhaps a long-term and strong love. In any case, the guy’s answer either once again convinces you of the correctness of the refusal or changes your point of view, and then you can still refer to his answer, arguing that such a beginning of a relationship does not suit you.
Refuse politely, but confidently – a date is not a global reason, either for a quarrel or for a long showdown. You may be busy or you have no desire – he must respect the boundaries of your personality and not go over them just to please his own. Realizing that this invitation is not just for a walk, nevertheless, be careful with the feelings of the person, because he chose you, perhaps he was planning a beautiful evening. Find the positive in him, indicate that he did everything right and it is really nice (so self-esteem will not collapse and he will understand that he may be interesting to others), but from the perspective of romance, nothing will work out with you.
If a man is interested in your personality, then after a while you can continue communication as friends, and if love experiences take up, then he will probably disappear from communication. Noticing a strong upset in his emotions, you can express your frustration that he reluctantly gave hope (by the way, you can find out exactly how, so that this does not happen again). Indeed, in order to invite you on a date, you must assume that you have chances, which means that you smiled sweetly, did not advertise other relationships, etc.
Do not prolong this topic for too long, delving into details and regrets, do not drag him out for a walk and spend a long time together, you must correctly refuse the guy, quickly referring to things to retire somewhere. It will be possible to talk normally and continue communication in a couple of days, but for now it is better to let him cope with emotions on his own. Someone easily experiences a refusal and will go to play basketball with other guys, while the other will be able to hold out no more than fifteen minutes, so as not to demonstrate all the pain and disappointment from the unfulfilled hope.
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