We all go through our ups and downs, and all this week I have been fighting on my little battlefields, sometimes with a toothache, or with the final video for the YouTube… Well, and of course, all this time I was thinking about how to break this vicious circle of stupid idleness. I remind you that I returned from vacation, it was assumed that I should have been rested and full of energy, but the trip turned out to be so full of emotions and impressions and physically active that for some reason the desired reboot did not happen. I love to delve into myself, of course, and that’s what I did.
How to Pull Yourself Together?
First, after some time it became obvious to me that among the heap of to-do’s, which rests like a dead weight of lists at the bottom of my diary, there is obviously something that paralyzes me. Some one little “frog” because of which I do not want to do anything at all, because it seems to me the most important and because I believe that I should start with it.
I am ashamed to write this, but ceasing to lie to myself, I realized that this frog is a blog post about Portugal. For some reason, I was convinced that I had to do just that and exactly the first thing. Maybe because I promised you, maybe myself, but megabytes of photos, sadly looking at me from folders and guaranteeing a couple of sleepless nights, right now, right here do not inspire me.
It took some courage to admit it to yourself and to you, of course. It would seem nonsense. But you know, having freed myself from this “nonsense” and removed this “obligation” from myself, I immediately calmed down and sat down to write this very post. And I also took apart the washed laundry, froze 2 kilograms of plums, fought with Chile, who made a real show in the kitchen, cleaned the kitchen for Chile, sorted out the mail, and all this in an hour.
The problem seems to be solved! I also have another solution – after all, to do the same, paralyzing, tight and aggravating. If it was a matter of an hour, I would do just that, just pulling myself together and making a decision. But now I simply cannot allocate a few hours in a photograph. And this is also a solution.
By the way, about the solutions. Today I had to look at myself from the outside – the last couple of days I spent in a state of a zombie, I only cooked food, otherwise, I was doing the dumbest things you can imagine. At some point, I realized that I was a rather pathetic sight and that I did not want to be that person. A person who is engaged in unhelpful nonsense, sleeps until 12 noon and cannot clean the house for more than a week, for example.
Of course, sometimes it’s even useful to be a zombie for a couple of days – it is a signal from the body that we are tired and need rest. In such cases, sometimes it is still possible to get sick, spontaneously, simply because there is no more strength left (writes a person who returned from vacation, and then fell ill, yeah). But those who are familiar with this condition also know how much it looks like a funnel, which can drag us in for a much longer period than two days, and from which it may not be easy to get out.
It is very seductive, something like a morning desire to put your head back on the pillow, when it’s dark outside, you sat almost until the morning before and now you need to rush to some unpleasant place. To give up on everything and succumb to reflexes – how tempting it is … But we are people, and we are given will and reason, we are given control over our reflexes and the right to decide for ourselves what we want to be and what we want to see our life.
The last thing I want is to be a zombie. The last thing I want to do is be a bum. The last thing I want to do is turn my life into chaos and not know how to work effectively and how to have quality rest. I decided again that I was not that kind of person, that it was not me. And the most amazing thing is that most things in our life do not depend on habit and do not take 21 days to implement. More often it is enough just to decide something from the very depths of your soul and your mind.
I wish each of you honesty with yourself, the ability to take a sober view of what is happening to you and be both demanding and merciful to yourself. Learn to find a common language with your fears and weaknesses, negotiate with yourself, and sometimes just choose who you want to be and decide what will be best for you and what will ultimately make you happy.