In this article, we’ll discuss the cool facts about the relationship between boy and girl. Human relationships are a priority for understanding, awareness, and implementation, not only because of emotional experiences and the possibility of self-realization but also thanks to the simplest evolutionary mechanisms that acquire social realization. It is based on two basic instincts inherent in any creature – the desire to survive and continue the race.
A person is social; therefore, acceptance in a group of similar ones ensures survival, while rejection, isolation are practically equivalent to death (especially in ancient times) or severe mental disorders (now, when physically living alone is possible, but communication is still necessary).
The reproductive instinct pushes to attach the most significant importance among all possible social interactions to gender interaction. Therefore, the relationship between guy and girl becomes practically the only topic that occupies the minds of adolescents and young men when hormonal surges control consciousness and all behavior.
Understand what a relationship between guy and girl is, what types of interactions there are, how to distinguish the seriousness of intentions from simple flirting is an individual task for everyone, as well as the requirements for a partner (be it a friend, beloved or acquaintance), are different for everyone.
But for young people to somehow orient themselves in the initial period, there are basic things that figure in all normal relations. It is not the ideal correspondence of the partner to specific parameters, which is impossible, but the peculiarities of communication.
For any relationship, mutual respect and acceptance, support and friendly perception, the desire for help, and interest in the partner’s personality and his occupations, hobbies, and life positions are essential.
It is impossible to demonstrate such manifestations deliberately, and there is no point in forcing yourself – it is better to look for the person to whom all this will manifest independently and from the heart.
The psychology of the relationship between a guy and a girl involves building trust’s first stages of interaction. If this factor is absent, then no intimate attraction, logical understanding of the similarity of tastes will help overcome the barrier of constant tension and alertness.
People strive to continue communication throughout their lives, not to expect betrayal, and to have continuous access to the opportunity to share significant experiences and events, receive support or relax emotionally, to feel that they can be themselves.
Besides trust, there must also be a sense of giving and caring. It does not mean the reckless gilding of a loved one. Still, the ability to support, if necessary, to devote time, sacrifice personal interests, and do something that is not characteristic but is done for the sake of a loved one.
You can build relationships between a guy and a girl in different ways because people even get to know each other in entirely different conditions. With the baggage of psycho-traumas, upbringing, internal foundations, they also pave various routes of rapprochement and carry out access to the darkest corners of the soul at different speeds.
After the third date, some go to register a relationship, and others prefer to be friends for several months, then meet for a couple of years. But there is always an opportunity to trace where people’s relationship begins, how the first sympathy manifests itself, and what should be considered in time so that the feelings turn into something serious.
How a Relationship Begins Between Boy and Girl?
Any beginning of a relationship between a guy and a girl implies a particular place and acquaintance, so it is worth identifying which places romantic feelings can arise. There is no definitive list, but there are statistics where, more often than not, dating grows into something more. The most popular places are with mutual friends or colleagues – this gives an initial sense of security and guarantees a minimum of common topics and interests.
If an acquaintance occurs among mutual friends, then be sure that the attractive person you meet will be pleasant to you, because it is unlikely that friends will invite opposite friends, besides this, in this indirect way, you have a guarantee of decency of a new acquaintance, or you can ask about him.
Collective acquaintances are also frequent among couples who have established severe relationships. Initially, in a professional environment, people who had much in common in the sphere of interests and physical indicators were gathered.
You can uniquely complement each other, come up with a new project, and understand each other perfectly. The mental characteristics necessary for any professional sphere imply the same type of nervous system, and over time, also the same professional deformation.
Also famous for starting a relationship are nightclubs, interest studios close to home, and the Internet. Variants, when people get to know each other under non-standard conditions, are rare; they look like a plot for a movie or a fascinating story, but, unfortunately, once they get into the situations of everyday reality, they turn out to be unviable. The partner usually loses its charm or becomes disproportionate to him.
It is possible to understand that the established relationship will be severe in a couple of months. It is enough to get acquainted with the key personal tendencies, and then there will be only detailing in situational moments.
People who have chosen each other decide to spend their lives together in the first half of the year they meet, but those who have been friends for a long time or have been dating for several years risk creating a problem family.
It is just like the wedding of two old friends is more like a forced escape from loneliness than a conscious choice involving heart feelings and the coincidence of value assessments of the world around.
Of course, this does not mean that the earlier the severe stage of the relationship begins, the better, because it takes time to look closely and get to know your partner in the minimum number of situations.
The rapid development of relationships is possible when you feel love at first sight or understand that the meeting is very similar to the description in novels and karmic teachings about the kinship of souls.
There is nothing mystical in such experiences, just as the skepticism of acquaintances about the passage of the obsession will be inappropriate. In the end, it turns out that this is not your person.
The feeling of instant falling in love arises subconsciously, bypassing critical remarks of logic when a person has an approximate understanding of what kind of partner he needs, where he will be comfortable – this is a list of qualities and behavioral features, possibly elements of appearance.
Having met by chance, a person most suitable for the list of subconsciously desired partners, the brain, and all systems begin to signal intensely. In practice, this is manifested by falling in love and a kind of kinship with a stranger. This spiritual closeness is explained by the fact that his image had already existed in consciousness for a long time, and now it has acquired material embodiment.
After the acquaintance has occurred, and the internal radar has designated a new person as a potential partner, all systems of the psyche and somatic begin to work on the implementation of these relationships. In the classic case, the man will take the initiative, and the girl will react and accept signs of attention, but if the temperaments of the partners are set differently.
The first signs of sympathy manifested in flirting, long-term communication, interest in personal life, and hobby. Non-verbally, mutual attraction can be determined because people hold eye contact longer and tend to touch each other accidentally. Then they spend time together, groups of friends can merge into one large field of acquaintances, where lovers will be the main unifying elements. Later, thoughts about a wedding arise, the simple relationship of lovers gradually becomes more serious.
What is a Serious Relationship Between Boy and Girl?
Its duration does not necessarily determine a serious relationship between a guy and a girl because many novels last for decades, and people for each other have the opportunity to satisfy their own biological or emotional needs. It is not exceptionally good intimacy without any commitment. It is also a possible all-consuming passion, requiring periodic long-term breakups or a showdown that puts the relationship at risk.
The degree of seriousness in each case is individual and is determined by the inner meanings (life history) and the system of values, upbringing, and family traditions. So the criterion can be physical intimacy – this tradition is less and less relevant in modern society. Still, some believe that marriage involves the virginity of partners, and intimacy is the last step, after which people become inseparable.
There are options for getting to know relatives, whose opinion is essential for the individual – this is a kind of invitation of a partner to his family. When a relationship that lasts for several years can look as serious as you like, but the partners do not know each other’s families, one can hardly talk about the seriousness of intentions or confidence in their own choice.
Of course, marriage is the brightest of the criteria for long-term and noble intentions. Still, with how much the divorce procedure has become simplified and the moral values in society have changed, there may be options. The choice of registration of relations (civil, church, registered marriage, cohabitation, or meeting) is also influenced by the age of the partners.
You can trace the tendency that the older people are, the more serious their relationship is. It is because there is already an understanding of what love is, inevitable mistakes were made, and the experience of various experiences was obtained. The distorted romantic perception of relationships as something magical disappears.
Unlike teenagers, adults rely on stability and longevity, whose choices are dictated by a surge in hormones and a thirst for emotional experiences.
An agreement is required on long-term prospects, including the efforts of both spouses to develop and deepen communication, material, and psychological well-being. The vision of both partners regarding a joint future coincides or approximately in the same direction is more significant than longevity.
People initially see their interaction for a short period, after which they are going to live separately and do not hide it. We can talk about seriousness, even if it lasts a week. In the variant when one wants a family, and the other a short novel and no one says it with a dear person, it is impossible to talk about any seriousness.
Also, an important point is the absence of the need to find other people as replacements or backup options. It applies to both a global life approach, so that there is someone in case of divorce, and small daily betrayals, when, instead of waiting for his person, another changes him to friends or a friend, giving important information or asking for support, primarily to them.
You can go to an unknown piece of the forest for a picnic, calmly leave your unlocked phone and your documents in a conspicuous place with it – this means that you have an everyday psychological space.
Serious relationships do not mean a strict facial expression; on the contrary, there is a lot of room for humor and ridiculous everyday situations, the shame and awkwardness of which disappears, and warmth and acceptance appear even in a cold state or after a hard day at work.
Not only the external barriers of her manifestation fall (the girl does not hesitate to go out without makeup, the guy can afford not to control the sounds of the body) but also honest communication, when any topics are open for discussion and problems, and emerging questions are not hushed up. It can be seen especially clearly in the discussion of intimacy – when it happens openly. Without hesitation, this is about a serious attitude, and silence speaks of a crack in emotional intimacy.
Stages of A Relationship Between Guy and Girl
The psyche and all the processes affecting it function according to specific patterns, passing through the stages of development and transformation. When two personalities begin to interact, their relationship is transformed, not freezing in one phase.
Some consider such changes to be the extinction of love since they constantly strive for psychological fusion and a feeling of euphoria. It is a kind of infantile understanding of relationships when you only need to get high without recognizing the deep processes of the personality and both partners’ development.
Those who want only bright and cheerful constantly change partners, believing that relations are deteriorating or people have lied to them before, showing only their positive side, but if you understand the stages of the relationship, it turns out that such changes are pretty standard and all couples go through them.
The first stage of a relationship is called falling in love, and the views of scientists and people on it are different. So a person perceives these manifestations as true love – hormones govern everything.
The danger lies in the fact that the criticism of both one’s state and the perception of a partner is reduced. Impossible vows can be made here. Marriages can be concluded without awareness. If someone quarrels with the parental family, choosing a chosen one, then this happens precisely during the period of extreme love. Such an emotional storm lasts no more than a year. For some, it passes after a month. It all depends on what the partners additionally do with their feelings.
After such an emotional period, the so-called satiety phase occurs, when the constant need for the presence of a partner weakens, and the person changes the locus of attention and again turns it from the dual interaction to his own mental and external life processes.
At this stage, the criticality of perception turns on, shortcomings of both the partner’s personality and the style of the relationship themselves, which no longer absorb the whole life, begin to be noticed. The person is trying to renew past interests, affinities with friends, and daily routine.
Sometimes this self-missed individual leads to the dissolution of the relationship. In general, this is a rather critical period for a couple. Even if none of the partners wants to return to the everyday bachelor life, then the exit from the merger can be perceived falsely as cooling of feelings, followed by separation.
Smoothly, the stage of satiety turns into disgust, a desire to leave and stop all interaction. Here their illusions finally crumble at the expense of the image of a partner, and he, in turn, having relaxed, begins to demonstrate not only his positive sides. Such changes for many are incredibly striking, which causes resentment and a feeling of deception, betrayal.
Few couples can survive this period if, even theoretically, they are not aware of the difficulties or enter into a relationship with the expectation that the whole world will be beautiful and revolve around them.
Suppose it is not possible to overcome this period. In that case, the couple breaks up, and each separately begins to build other relationships again before the onset of disgust. If such a crisis has been overcome, then the interaction goes to a deeper level.
Thanks to their wisdom or the help of a psychotherapist, those who were able to maintain a relationship receive a unique reward – the opportunity to be accepted entirely and in any state, but completely and as it is.
It also requires complete mutual acceptance of the partner, which is more complex than falling in love with a fictitious ideal image. Still, for the first time in the history of relationships, individuals meet spiritually naked without psychological protection.
In such a relationship, for the first time, tolerance and understanding come to the place of unrestraint and passion, partners understand that they can be together not only when everything is fine with two, but the demonstration of love is off the charts. It allows you to relax a little, express yourself freely, and control every gesture and word to live.
When he learned to accept and show all his sides and needs, the stage of joint service began. It may seem that the stage of falling in love has returned, but this is an entirely different state according to internal mental processes.
If at the beginning of a relationship one wanted to please the other blindly, not noticing his needs and instead to create his sense of significance, now there is a willingness to sacrifice for the sake of another from the position of maintaining the relationship. Here the principle of not harming another begins to operate while maintaining one’s sense of needs and the manifestation of interests.
The next step is a global baseline of respect. This respect has not foraged or merit, beauty or skill. It is genuine respect for a person who has done a lot to maintain and develop a relationship. Many are unable to reach this period,
After passing all these stages, a person can meet love, honesty, and open eyes when looking at a partner. By this time, our society already has familiar children, savings, ups, downs, scandals, and crises, and only after a few years do people discover not falling in love or dependence, but real deep love that can manifest itself both in friendship and in anger, and not only in intimate level.