Today, I will tell you about a serious relationship between men and women as a psychologist perspective in this article. Everything that happens between a man and a woman at all times aroused great interest. However, no educational system provides comprehensive knowledge on how to create a happy strong couple or family.
Boys and girls draw their knowledge from the experience of parents, films, books, personal observations and communication with peers.
Intimacy or living together these days is not evidence of seriousness of intentions, and there are no clear criteria for this concept. Therefore, it is so important to realize what the new novel is and whether it has any hope for the future.
What is A Serious Relationship?
Each person has their own concept of “serious relationship”. For some, it means a desire to have children, for someone acquaintance with relatives and friends of the second half, and for someone, just the desire to spend time together.
A serious relationship is a set of moral and ethical qualities of partners, the community of their interests and views, long-term plans and the desire to live life together.
In this case, both parties are completely satisfied with each other and do not feel the need for other members of the opposite sex.
In a relationship, each party primarily tries to meet their needs and expectations, both physically and emotionally.
Feelings of support, love, shared leisure and common plans feed and strengthen the union just as much as physical intimacy.
Pursuing the satisfaction of personal goals in a relationship, such a concept as caring for a partner is being supplanted. It is important not so much to “receive” as to “give”, and if both parties follow this principle, the union has a chance of development.
The willingness to sacrifice your interests for the good of the union or the well-being of your other half speaks of the seriousness of intentions and a strong feeling.
What Indicates A Readiness for Them?
The main factor in any union is a strong and tender feeling. No couple can have a long and happy relationship without feelings of love, tenderness, and respect.
But distinguishing love from falling in love, especially at the very beginning of a relationship, is quite difficult.
Answering the following questions will help you to understand your emotions:
- Do you feel protected and safe with your partner?
- Do you have a desire to share your experiences, emotions?
- Does it feel like you “speak the same language” and your views on life coincide?
- Can you imagine your union after 1, 5, 10 years of marriage?
- Are you ready to sacrifice something important for the sake of a common future?
- Do you agree to support your partner in financial difficulties, health problems?
If a confident positive answer is given to all questions, then the relationship has every chance of developing into a long-term serious relationship. If it is difficult to give an unambiguous answer to some questions, or if there are a large number of “no” answers, the relationship cannot be called serious.
Any relationship is a “tango for two”. Both partners should have a desire and desire for common long-term plans for life.
For your information! There is a metaphor that love is a distance of 20 steps with an obstacle in the middle, and everyone in a pair must walk their 10 steps.
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When is It Too Early to Be Considered Serious?
The duration of the union does not always mean its stability and stability. Intuitively, you can feel that something is going wrong, but not be aware of what exactly. A number of points can show that the relationship is developing in the wrong direction and your future is at stake.
You feel constrained, choosing your words and thinking over each word. This is okay on the first date, when everyone wants to make a good impression and look at each other. But if the relationship lasts a long time and the stiffness persists, it may not be your person.
You don’t know much about him. No matter how cheerful, kind, understanding the partner may be, there is no need to talk about the seriousness of the relationship if you are not familiar with relatives, do not know where the other half works and how they spend their leisure time.
In addition, it is important to know about personality traits: behavior in a stressful situation, how it helps and how it accepts help, attitude towards children, animals, etc.
In case of a difficult situation, you will turn to him for help. If you find yourself in a difficult situation, you do not want to ask your partner for help, this indicates a lack of trust and intimacy between you. The thought of turning to a loved one for help or support comes by itself, no matter how delicate the situation may be.
You do not want to open up completely to this person. If the desire to share intimate thoughts and feelings does not arise with the development of the novel, it is worth considering whether this is really your person. True intimacy is characterized by complete acceptance of each other’s personalities, thoughts and feelings, even when partners have opposing views.
When analyzing the development of relationships, it is important not so much to be guided by the voice of reason, but rather by sensations, feelings and intuition. If your partner is perfect in your eyes, but the feeling of anxiety does not leave, perhaps you are looking at him through rose-colored glasses or he is playing a role without showing his true face.
How to Understand That You Have A Serious Relationship?
Besides the obvious physical differences between men and women, there is a huge difference in the way we think.
Men and women put completely different things into the concept of “relationship”, which leads to misunderstandings, resentments and conflicts.
This topic has long been the object of close attention of psychologists, sociologists and writers, as evidenced by John Gray’s bestseller Men from Mars, Women from Venus.
Understanding the peculiarities of each other’s thinking helps to stop “measuring everything by your own steps”.
When a person is capable of empathy – conscious empathy with the feelings and emotions of another, it is easier for him to look more objectively at the situation, to imagine it through the eyes of a partner.
From A Man’s Point of View
A man is by nature aimed at the outer side of relationships: making money, protecting the family, general activities. Men often do not know how to build emotional relationships and this is given to them with great difficulty.
Representatives of the stronger sex are more action-oriented, and are ready to devote time to the emotional sphere only occasionally. For example, congratulations and gifts on the holidays, compliments, invitations to the cinema or restaurant.
Remembering the peculiarity of men’s thinking, it is easier to understand the seriousness of his intentions. To do this, it is necessary to mentally omit the entire emotional background of the relationship and analyze whether the partner has committed specific actions for the sake of this union.
He arrived in a difficult situation, offered help and provided it, introduced him to friends and relatives, invited him to a cafe, etc.
In addition, from an early age, boys are aware of their responsibility for words, deeds and actions.
Entering into an alliance with a woman, a man automatically begins to feel responsible for her well-being, takes patronage over her.
Caring can be manifested in the desire to meet, conduct, as well as in increased control over the leisure and movements of his chosen one.
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From A Woman’s Point of View
Women by their nature are more focused on creating a lasting union and a microclimate in it. It is the fair sex who are inclined to romanticize any relationship and can often be mistaken in the intentions of a partner.
The abundance of love messages, the frequent desire to make sure of the reciprocity of feelings, the desire to discuss all the subtleties of the union are the prerogative of the beautiful half of humanity.
From childhood, girls are taught to show care, patience and complaisance, games with mothers and daughters and experience within the family lay the foundation for future ideas about the chosen one.
Unlike a man, a woman is not so much about the result as the process.
However, it is the ladies who are aimed at creating a family and consider the chosen one as a candidate for husbands, while men often do not pursue such a goal in a new novel.
Unlike a man, a woman needs to speak out her feelings and emotions, get sympathy and emotional support.
Often a woman has already decided what to do next and does not expect help at the external level. A man, lowering his feelings, immediately offers a solution, considering this the best help. This difference in thinking often becomes a reason for misunderstanding and quarrels.
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Any, the most stormy and passionate romance one day dies down, and it depends only on two whether something will remain after the hurricane of feelings.
When it is almost impossible to imagine your life without a certain person, when you want to share any joy and sorrow with the other half, and instead of “I”, “we” is increasingly pronounced, mature and conscious relationships come.
Mental and emotional closeness, caring and worrying about a loved one become a solid foundation on which you can build a serious relationship.