How to finally take control of your life by taking 100% responsibility for yourself, your life, your results, victories and failures. Super working technique.
Now there are hundreds of different theories on how to achieve success, be more effective, and happy. Various authors deduce peculiar laws, rules, axioms of what should or should not be done. It is rather difficult to understand all this diversity, especially because there is no evidence that this or that theory will work specifically for me.
But responsibility is what everyone agrees on. And first of all, it is 100% responsibility for our life, for all the events that have happened, are happening and will continue to happen in our life. Without taking on the obligation of unconditional responsibility for your destiny , it is impossible to take control of your life, but you will have to go with the flow and constantly find yourself where the current will bring, and not where it is necessary for us.
Burden of Take Responsibility for Your Life
So what does it mean to take this very responsibility? The most important thing is to accept that everything that happens to us depends only on us. It just so happened that most people like to make everyone around them guilty for mistakes and mistakes in their lives, but not themselves. Everyone is to blame, the government, neighbors, parents, colleagues. Everything around is bought and predetermined, talents and vocations are distributed from above, and fate is predetermined and nothing can be changed. This is exactly what people who have not achieved anything in life think, and while they think so, they will not achieve anything.
Under the same conditions, some achieve success, while others blame everyone around for their failures. We are responsible for everything in our life, both good and bad. This means giving up the excuses for ourselves and our actions that brought failure, abandoning the role of the victim, which we like to take on from time to time. In everything that we did not do and could not in our life, only we are to blame, but all that we have achieved – we have also achieved ourselves.
This does not sound very difficult at first glance, but each of us, from time to time, avoids 100% responsibility. Let’s take a look at 5 basic strategies for avoiding responsibility.
Blaming is A National Tradition
Absolutely all people are inclined to do this, but in our countries of the former USSR it is especially pronounced. And not surprising, because for decades we have been instilled with the idea of care from the state. People are accustomed to the fact that the state will provide jobs, housing, and provide a low, but stable standard of living. And even though more than two decades have passed, it is still the thought that the state, the government owe us something, and if they don’t give it, then they are to blame for this.
Unfortunately, it is the position that someone owes us something that is one of the root causes of the inclination to blame. And such people expect that they will do everything for them, invite them to high-paying jobs, provide them with housing, and create comfortable living conditions. They rarely achieve anything in life, because most of it passes in anticipation that something will happen and there is no point in doing something yourself.
It also happens in a different way when we blame others for our failures . We do not expect anything from others, we act, but having received a negative result, we begin to look for someone to blame. And usually it is not ourselves, but someone else (we shift the responsibility to another person) or “the stars have come together like this” (we remove responsibility from ourselves, as if nothing depended on us).
While we blame, we are not looking for a reason in ourselves, in our actions, we will not learn a lesson from failure, we are not aware of our mistakes, and therefore we will not change anything. Next time we will do exactly the same and get the same result accordingly. Taking 100% responsibility upon ourselves, ceasing to blame, we will look for the reasons in ourselves, we will definitely find them, draw conclusions, change our actions, approaches, and perhaps this is what will allow us to achieve success.
Making Excuses is The Fate of Weak and Insecure People
When we begin to make excuses for our actions or the results of our actions, or even more often just for our way of thinking, our beliefs, by this we express our uncertainty about the correctness of what we are doing or did, or what we believe in. But what does this have to do with responsibility?
The fact is that we begin to justify ourselves in response to accusations, real or imaginary, of other people, or even anticipating such accusations, in advance. But the essence of the fact that another person accuses us of something is his reaction, feedback to some of our actions or thoughts expressed. And our task is to derive some benefit from this, to get this feedback. To accept or not accept the fairness of the accusations is already the second case and it is up to us to decide, but starting to make excuses, we lose the opportunity to obtain the information we need.
Having taken 100% responsibility on ourselves , there is no point in making excuses. All our actions or our beliefs depend on ourselves, we are responsible for all the results. There is no point in justifying your actions with anything other than our will, our desire, or our decision. And to make excuses for this means not to recognize your right to them, that is, to sign your own worthlessness.
Defending Yourself is A Way to Aggressively Justify Yourself
Defending really has the same roots as making excuses. Only in this case, instead of justifying ourselves, we begin to attack and blame in response the one who accuses us. But the result will be the same, we will let the feedback that we tried to convey to us in one way or another, we will not draw any conclusions, so we will not have the opportunity to improve something in ourselves.
To make it clear, I will note that very often accusations against us do not carry any necessary or useful information, and for the most part are also a defensive reaction of others to our accusations (that is, they begin to defend themselves). But only by taking responsibility for ourselves, we can break this vicious circle and, possibly, bring out something useful for us. Removing responsibility from ourselves, starting to defend ourselves, we always only aggravate the situation.
Complaining is A Direct Sign that We are Not in Control of Our Lives
Very often, it is the desire to complain about our life that is the root cause of the fact that we first begin to accuse someone of this, then we begin to make excuses, and then we begin to defend ourselves, starting again to accuse someone else. All of these are strategies for avoiding responsibility for the results we have in our lives.
If you think about it, if you take responsibility for everything in your life on yourself, then you can again only complain about yourself. We got up late ourselves, we were late for work, because of this we did something in a hurry and at the same time made a mistake, it was we who began to make excuses for this mistake, blaming someone or something. And we ourselves have convinced ourselves that we do not control the results that we get, and nothing depends on us. And with this we ourselves decided that we would not do anything to change the situation in the future, and therefore we would have exactly what we have now. And this is at best, because often making the same mistakes we only worsen the situation.
Being Shy is a Kind of Avoidance of Responsibility
Being shy is a little apart from other strategies for avoiding responsibility, but at the same time it is such a dangerous and harmful habit that prevents us from developing and achieving more in our lives.
Being shy, we justify ourselves in our indecision, in the fact that we do not perform some action, and therefore do not achieve certain results. Again, we pass by the possibilities, we relieve ourselves of responsibility for our life, shifting it at all, it is not clear to what. Resigning themselves to their own fears, phobias, justifying their actions by their own indecision.
What’s more interesting, being embarrassed, we free ourselves from the need to deal with our own fears, assuring ourselves that there is no need to change something and allow ourselves to do nothing.
100% Responsibility and Not A Percent Less
You can make a decision, make a commitment not to avoid responsibility for your life at any time. This will immediately change a lot, and most importantly, it will change the attitude of other people. The fact is that responsible people hate the complainant, those who engage in unnecessary accusations and hate those who make excuses for their failures. Becoming responsible, we will attract the same people, which will allow us to get even greater results and become even more successful.
There are many ways to train yourself to avoid responsibility, but first, at least start noticing these dangerous habits, and if you suddenly:
- Make excuses
- Protect yourself
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Then stop doing it immediately. And yet, only by taking full responsibility for yourself and your life can you become truly free and really lead your life.
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