The desire to be needed and build good relationships for many turns into a question: why are they unlucky in love? If a person has a lot of problems, he is socially disadvantaged but It is also true for formally prosperous and attractive individuals. Then it is worth finding the reasons for such misunderstandings as unlucky in love.
Usually, all the problems of the sphere of relations are not in the external environment, events, or partners, but in the personality traits and traumas of the unlucky one, and perhaps in the absence of examples of successful interaction.
Main Reasons Why You are Unlucky in Love
Some do not know how to prioritize or have impaired social and personal interactions. There are differences for those who fail to have their first romance and get divorced for the fourth time, so that the reasons may differ depending on gender, but still, the main snag will be in personality traits or established habits.
1. Relationship Mistakes
A typical pattern of behavior is to act concerning those stereotypes laid down in past generations or childhood feelings. The desire to live in a fairy tale, love a princess, date a knight, or act as your grandmother is a common reason why good people are unlucky in love.
Their perception of life remains immature, invented from the world of childhood dreams, where people are divided into good and evil, so they can endlessly seek someone perfect, not understanding that everyone has flaws. There are no fairy-tale characters or arrange a series of novels and disappointments when the princess in everyday life turns out to be a witch.
2. Bad Parental Experience
The next mistake, why you are unlucky in love, is translating the bad parental experience into your own family life. So a child whose parents are divorced or physical and moral abuse has a reduced ability to trust the world and people. The closer and more profound the interaction becomes, the more the level of anxiety and the possibility of repeating the parental bad experience increase.
The person shows distrust, aggression, and other negative moments that destroy the relationship. It is possible both with a real lack of trust and if the person has not compromised himself in any way – constant accusations of what the other has not done begin to undermine good interaction.
3. Communication Mistakes
The style of communication with a partner implies adherence to certain cultural norms. If the behavior is slightly better than other creators, then the development of any relationship will be inhibited.
High sexuality, shared plans, and hobbies do not cost anything if ignorance of the elementary rules of behavior is constantly annoying – snobbery regarding the fact that you need to choose a pair of your class is due to this crucial moment.
4. Disinterest to The Problem of Lover
It also includes disinterest in the existential and everyday problems of others, when only one is present, talking about his achievements or complaining about his troubles, planning time where he is interested, without taking into account the needs and interests of the other.
For those trying to build not the first relationship, the reason for failure may be a comparison of the present partner with the past, and it does not matter if this is done aloud or in an internal dialogue.
While you remember that bad things have been done, keep track of similar calls and try to prevent negativity, you can overlook that phrases turn out to be equal; you exaggerate some actions due to painful experiences. He has nothing to do with a new person and loves, but this love has nowhere to unfold among past traumas.
Those who cannot start their first relationship are often hindered by fear, the basis of which can be both their low self-esteem and numerous versions that relationships only bring pain.
Why is a Woman Unlucky in Love?
Women are more dramatizing their failures, and why the beautiful are unlucky in love remains a mystery to the public. By a certain age, childhood and adolescent complexes are also traumatized from communication in adulthood – the burden of all not established relationships and someone’s caustic remarks presses. As a result, self-worth falls, and the woman is ready to begin the search for a piece of warmth and praise.
Such an emotional state attracts despots and tyrants, who only aggravate the condition and make the next relationship impossible. To break this circle, you need to pause, stop looking for recharge outside, and focus on restoring your inner world and those supports that will remain regardless of the person’s attitude.
Coaches help some, others by deep psychotherapy; many use spiritual practices or travel – everything is suitable for establishing inner balance.
A woman usually already knows what she wants from a man, so she tries to fit a mature person into her image instead of accepting. It is wiser to look for someone good now, without anguish and desire to change something. The desire to present oneself in a favorable light to keep a man or then manipulate him to conform to his ideas will lead to scandals or another breakup.
The more negative, frustrating, and unstable relationships (including the parental family), the higher the level of tension in the interaction. A woman takes on more maternal functions and can constantly monitor her husband’s behavior, emotional state, behavior, and thoughts – total control, where it is impossible to breathe for both which destroy the next relationship in her life.
Why is a Girl Unlucky in Love?
Girls may meet the impossibility of building a love relationship since they initially have inflated requirements for the chosen one. From childhood, many are told they need a good boy, read fairy tales about princes, increase self-esteem, regardless of natural dignity. But good boys are not real, and the best girl is spoiled enough to be disgusting.
Most of the written beauties consider loving an investment and demand golden mountains from partners for their appearance. Those who believe in parental words of praise can be very burned that there are more beautiful, intelligent girls in the world while still with their average self-esteem and kindness.
Personal exaggerated requirements do not allow seeing a real person. If self-esteem is significantly reduced, the girl does not believe she is loved, perceiving this as a mockery or a threshold of use.
A high level of anxiety dictates any preconceived attitude. Only the construction of a pre-selected picture, the requirements for a person, and the unwillingness to see him as accurate with slight surprise while exploring the new world, leads to his exact needs.
The more schematic the attitude towards the guy, the more schematic he will relate to her, and then regrets about insincerity will come.
Fear is also strongly influenced; here, everyone has reasons – someone is afraid of being abandoned or hearing unflattering reviews. Others are afraid that they will ruin their reputation with gossip; some are afraid to open up and let them in.
As a result, the personality and needs are hidden, and the girl tries to please, to predict, but it is impossible to impress her with a mask. Remember, if there is more play in building relationships, the shorter-term the romance.
Why a Man is not Lucky in Love?
Considering why a guy is unlucky in love, we will come across classic universal reasons for the influence of the parental family and experience, but there are also exclusively gender characteristics.
If girls are more and more inherent in insecurity and low self-esteem, then guys are hampered by excessive self-confidence. As a result, they overlook the personality, but only the trophy, which does not contribute to establishing contact. Self-presentation in such men is too pretentious, built on many sexual moments, which can embarrass the opposite sex or cause genuine laughter when the actual picture does not strongly correspond to self-esteem.
Considering women to be materialistic, many try to test their feelings by the lack of gifts and material investments in their lady. It looks like greed or inability to contain. Elementary courtship, donated flowers (from a flower bed or one rose) – this should be. Because it directly makes a woman’s heart melt. If a man divides everything in half and does not spoil his woman in any way, then partnerships are built where there is no place for love.
Stereotypes instilled in childhood can cause a guy to reach many colonial heights at first – this is only part of the truth, where social and professional fulfillment is significant. If such a position is invested at an early age, then there is no end to the achievements – the man will be sure that he is not rich enough, handsome, intelligent, or consistently successful.
A similar bar can be set for certain women – there are lovely but lonely because everyone thought she would not pull her out or she was already busy. It is a joint problem, but the root cause is men’s assessment of themselves and women as representatives of a social and class rank and not as individuals.
What to Do to Be Lucky in Love?
The concept of luck in a relationship is far from a coincidence or luck as in a lottery – this requires either good initial conditions (a family with warm, harmonious relationships) or serious work, both on one’s personality and relationships. To start with increased self-esteem and arranging your happiness, if you constantly wait for the beginning of a great romance, then it will not start.
Everyone wants to be around happy, fulfilling people who are energizing and enjoyable, and no one wants to become an emotional donor who constantly pulls another out of depression. It is necessary to become happy and then look for with whom such happiness can be shared. Suppose instead of taking an infantile path, she began to take responsibility and can build her day and year in the direction of harmony and happiness. In that case, a worthy person will soon appear nearby. The only requirement is truth and not a performance of enacted happiness since true love is possible for the soul, not the picture.
Regarding work in the relationship itself, it takes patience, understanding, and readiness because scandals, reproaches, discontent, and misunderstandings are normal. Beautiful Instagram pictures are far from reality, and these people also grumble in the morning, swear over a wrinkled T-shirt and a charger lost by someone.
It is necessary to learn dialogues and compromises, the ability to listen and hear the other, do not hesitate to ask questions and clarify incomprehensible topics instead of hushing up. Absence of neglect even in small things, talking about important things – this is the way, and the main thing is to be open with others.
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