Where to start self development for a person who has realized that he is not satisfied with his own spiritual, moral or even physical level of development? This question often arises for people who have groped the essence of the problem, but do not have the tools to solve it. In this article I will try to answer this question on an expert level.
- First step.
- How to recognize your own imperfection?
- Physical imperfection.
- The importance of the physiological component.
- The road will be mastered by the walking.
- Failures are not a reason to retreat.
- Spiritual development.
- Daily work on yourself.
A self-confident person can live his whole life in complete confidence: he is ideal and infallible, and it would not occur to him that certain traits of his character need correction. Insecure people, on the contrary, exist for decades, realizing their own imperfection, but convinced of a complete inability to become better, they are unwilling or afraid to change themselves and their way of life. What is self-development in a global sense?
The self-development of any personality is a process initiated by a person with adequate self-esteem, and it starts only due to the realization of his own imperfection.
A plan for self-development is born after the first key to solving any problem is found – the recognition of the fact that it really exists. It works with alcoholism, smoking, and eating disorders – whatever flaws and vices that people have.
Personal growth and self-development are impossible if everyone around tells a person about his imperfection, and he agrees to take care of himself only under the pressure of the opinions of others. None of the self-development techniques will work when the subconscious insists: yes, they claim that you have problems, but you know that at any moment you can solve them, everything just suits you.
Self-development and self-improvement are processes that are inextricably linked with the idea of an adequate assessment of oneself, recognition of one’s own strengths and weaknesses and a willingness to change oneself using various methods, to turn oneself into someone new, better.
How to Admit Your Own Imperfection?
Recognizing your own imperfection does not mean to stop loving yourself, it is just a way to “turn on” self-development. Where to start the process if there is nothing to fix? Here we can advise using the “simple questions” method. Try asking yourself the following questions and answering them honestly:
- Do I have disadvantages that cause inconvenience to me and others?
- Does it happen that I regularly do something, and this entails negative consequences, and at the same time it is my fault?
- Am I satisfied with the way I look?
- How often do people around me admit that it is interesting to spend time with me, communicate and engage in common projects?
- Are there features in me that I would like to enhance?
- What qualities prevent me from living so much that I would like to “remove” them from my character forever?
These and other similar questions written on paper and the answers to them can provide a lot of information for thinking about where to start self-development. Ideal people do not exist – this is an obvious truth, but in order to start taking the first concrete steps and taking action, it is worth developing a clear plan for self-development based on the identified problems.
If a person considers appearance as his main problem, he can be recommended to apply the following methods of self-development:
The simplest and most effective method is to eliminate the causes of dissatisfaction: excessive obesity, an unhealthy complexion and stoop can easily and effectively correct regular sports, lifestyle changes and the transition to a healthy balanced diet.
Psychological support can be provided to yourself with the help of the following self-development technique: imagine what kind of body you want, find pictures of athletes on the Internet whose figures seem ideal to you, print and hang over your desk. Do not hesitate to look at them, but you should not think in the key: “I will never become like that!”, Use the message: “They, too, were once ordinary people, but with the help of work and striving for the better, they changed themselves, which means that I can.”
Self-development and self-improvement are impossible without control of the physical condition. Let someone argue that wanting to lose weight and become beautiful is base and ridiculous, but striving exclusively for spiritual growth is correct and valuable, but most spiritual practices, in addition to meditation, tremendous work of thought and psyche, include careful work on the body.
The Importance of The Physiological Component
It is not for nothing that both the specialists teaching yoga and those who teach Chinese practices admit that playing sports will not give the full effect, but purely mental exercises will not achieve real self-development and personal growth.
The ancient sages understood: everything is good in moderation and in a complex, one cannot heal the soul without touching the body, and it is useless to deal only with the body, without working with the inner contents. The methods of self-development offered by specialists always include not only high talk, but also physical exercise. Yes, regularly sweating during workouts, bothering with stretching, gymnastics and muscle development is harder than discussing spiritual food with like-minded people while sitting on a comfortable pillow and sipping green tea. But self-development of a person cannot be simple, and an easier way will never be right.
The result will be obtained only by the one who overcomes the road upward, while the traveler walking along a convenient path is unlikely to reach the top.
The Road Will Be Mastered by The Walking
As an effective method of self-development, a person who has decided to change himself, but who does not know how to start self-development of a person, can be advised the method of “mental road”.
What is self-development if you compare it with moving in space? This is a journey to the top of the mountain. And if you have realized the problem, you have just seen how the clouds parted and saw this peak. All you need is to overcome the slope, but now you understand exactly where you should go.
The first step is where you will have to start self-development on your own, and no plan for self-development, no special techniques will give you the most important thing – the will, readiness and strength to step forward.
If the child did not want to receive a toy clutched in his mother’s hand, he would never have dared, staggering and barely keeping his balance, to take the first step, and humanity would not have gone anywhere without striving to get what it wants.
Self-development and self-improvement, at its core, always has the will of the one who sees the peak and is ready to go to it, overcoming obstacles. Keep in your head a picture of the snowy peak of the mountain of your aspiration illuminated by the rising sun, and do not miss this image when difficulties arise or the desire to take the next step disappears.
Failures Are Not A Reason to Retreat
The plan of self-development in the process of implementation will inevitably undergo many changes.
Personal self-development is an unpredictable process, similar to renovation: starting to renovate a house, we never know for sure what will be revealed under the layers of old plaster, and what materials we will have to buy along the way.
Also, with work on ourselves: we can choose for ourselves the techniques of self-development, but in the process of implementation, our well-thought-out plan for self-development will have to be changed many times – somewhere we will make a mistake, some of the techniques may not work.
The golden truth that only those who sit still and do nothing do not make mistakes should always be kept in mind. Remember: improving yourself, you have the right to make mistakes, because the main thing is to correct the consequences. Nobody will give you an assessment for exactly what methods of self-development you were able to implement and how many percent you have fulfilled your plan for self-development.
Another key to self-improvement is love. Love moves the world – not hatred, not irritation, and in the same way, a person who hates himself cannot achieve self-development in any way.
Where to start the self-development of a person who criticizes himself for the slightest mistake, reproaches, mentally calls the last words and compares, in his opinion, with more successful, purposeful, holistic people? With a change in attitude towards yourself.
Love is water and fertilizer for the garden of our soul, and on the poor dry soil of the wasteland, strewn with thorns of anger and envy, only weeds can grow.
Self-development of a person is impossible without self-love, but not a blind and self-satisfied, excluding his own imperfection, but strict, but fair. You can lisp with a child, tell him how clever he is – and raise a disgusting egoist. And you can love a child and at the same time engage in education, correct bad qualities, stimulate the development of positive ones – and get an excellent person, educated and happy at the end.
Love can be different, and for the realization of our plan of self-development we need love not blind and frantic, but metered, not obscuring the view with a veil of unhealthy adoration.
Daily Work on Yourself
When the question “where to start self-development” is resolved, the most unpleasant begins: small daily work on yourself.
It is easier for people for the most part to occasionally perform grandiose feats, rather than regularly doing some insignificant repetitive work that does not bring immediate effect. But the self-development of a person cannot be built on feats alone – it is pains-taking work that cannot be neglected.
Your self-help plan should include a number of small daily ways to improve your mood and tune in to a positive perception of the world:
- When you wake up in the morning, think about the positive things that the day ahead has in store for you. In no case should you get up with thoughts about the cold outside the window, the need to do boring work and other negative moments of life. Focus on the good, learn to find the pluses even in the unpleasant.
- Before going to bed, think over what mistakes you managed to avoid during the day, what tiny steps allowed you to move to the top. You did not quarrel with a colleague, although there was a reason? So, you are learning to restrain yourself, and here he is, a step up the slope.
- Don’t expect miracles from people. Your desire to improve yourself, your personal growth and self-development should not turn into a red flag that you wave in front of others, opposing them.
Everyone has the right to live the way he wants, everyone will have their own moment to ask the question “where to start self development”, and each person comes to him in his own personal unique way. If you have already found negative qualities in yourself that require immediate correction, if you feel that you are ready to embark on the path of improving yourself, then you have found the answer to the question “where to start self development” and have taken your first step towards perfection.